I'm Over Here Now

No Mayor Miller....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2007-07-18T22:36:00.000-04:00

"I was very clear yesterday about the consequences of deferral, and I meant it," Miller said. "And this is one of those consequences." -- Mayor "Moron" Miller

This is Mr. Miller looking like he is making the tough decisions in cutting all non essential spending due to a city council vote that will postpone the cities ridiculous tax hikes until after the Provential elections.

The spew on paper post (Toronto Star) is painting a picture of stardom featuring quotes like the one above. Let's be honest the mayor is acting like a bad British nanny on her period. He might as well have said, "yeah....well if you don't give me more money....I am going to cut spending" only he says this as if he is just doing his job and doing what needs to be done. Look dweeber, this wasn't thrust upon you. You knew how much cash you had, your job is to prioritize within that limit. It was you that approved spending that will see the city more than 500 million dollars in deficit. You are a flat out fucking idiot, maybe it's time to stop writing tax bills and form a good suicide note you stupid shit.

As for you Torontonians, you got exactly what you deserved. Now get your heads out of Olivia Chow's ass and vote with your brains.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

Honestly...I am too mad to try to be funny.

Dating: A Woman's Choice

2007-07-12T21:18:00.001-04:00

I have never been one to date. I mean I have had all the typical phases someone my age should have had...the whorish stage, the long term stage, the horror story stage, and the lonely stage...well all but the "oh my god that hurt so much" stage.

But I never went on dates. It just wasn't my thing. Any relationship I have endeavored has been a result of some form of close proximity through social, work, travel and living situations. And I find that most men also prefer life this way. The traditional meet, go and talk to a girl you have never met, take her out, try to hit it off and see what happens approach, just doesn't seem to be so popular. And I know exactly why!

INCENTIVE: this is actually the answer to every question involving the word why. But what are the incentives the push men away from tradition?

1. Power: Who's court does the ball dwell?
The spark for this blog is the couple sitting across from me at starbucks on a very clear first date. She is incredibly comfortable talking up a storm, and to be honest he looks like he could throw up. Sure he nods and smiles over and over again, while she rambles on about how much she loves her program, but he is clearly not listening and whenever he says anything it seems to cause an end to that line of thought for some reason. It kinda looks like an interview, which makes sense cause it totally is.
Since the vast majority of first dates are initiated by the guy, immediately it has been made clear that this man is committed to dating this girl? By saying yes the girl has just granted an interview. Girls know this, and thus on the date the guy is constantly thinking "how can I impress this girl", while the girl is thinking, "do I really like this guy?"
This creates a very uncomfortable imbalance of power that leads the man to focused on getting someone else to like him, rather than focusing on if he likes her. I recently went on what might have been, maybe, my fourth first date ever. It was a random girl from work that I was connecting pretty well with before asking her out. Post asking her out almost every second was pure awkwardness, with less than zero sexual chemistry. We saw each other a few more times until eventually she blew me off. I don't blame her for this at all, nor did it really hurt anything more than my ego, which if you know me, you know my ego will recover. The question is why didn't I blow her off? Why continue to chase a mediocre relationship? I think it is because of that power imbalance that leaves men chasing, and once we start chasing we don't stop until we catch something.

Meanwhile for Women dating is geared for them, not only is it an opportunity to totally be in control, you normally also get a free meal out of it.

If I were to look for more first dates, they would be more of the same. The problem with it is that a success is based on getting someone else to like you, as opposed to finding someone you like.

In the long run dating is bad for everyone. The date in front of me will end in one of two ways:
1. Guy goes home recognizing that he did not do that well, and feels like he should text, or call her so that he can do something impressive to save his ass. Meanwhile, she is at home ripping him apart to her friends via the phone, msn, email, and facebook all at the same time.

2. It went well, guy decides he will play it cool and not call for a few days cause he doesn't want to blow it. Girl tells all her friends that this one might be 'the one'. They go out a few more times, maybe even get to the couple stage. She worships him, this empowers him, she starts getting insecure, this upsets him, she pushes too hard, he pulls out real fast.

Successful relationships (whatever that means) don't come from first dates and awkward interviews, they arise from people who already know each other and get a little obsessed with one another, and eventually get drunk and make out.

Women should still actively go on dates, it will never result in true love but it will always make you feel good about yourself and be worth it even if you have your heart broken in the end.

Men: make friends not dates!

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you are nothing more to me than a poke on facebook

So When is it Time to Use the "I" Word?

2007-07-11T14:12:00.000-04:00

This will make 100 entries of mostly complete BS....yay!

So is anyone trying to impeach Mayor Miller or is Toronto just swept over by our unique laisse-faire attitude towards caring about things?

The following has occurred so far in 2007:

1. The municipal government of Toronto has officially run into deficit
2. They announce that they will be seeking additional taxation methods to pay for there gross over spending on pretty much nothing
3. Two members of the city council are investigated due to suspicion of not spending enough money
4. As a result a cheque is forced upon them for spending too much cash out of their own pocket and not enough of the tax payers money
5. Picture day has to be canceled due to an argument over who sits in the front row
6. City council votes against placing ribbons on public vehicles intended to show support for Canadian troops in Afghanistan
7. Following a minor public outcry from war vets and AM 640 radio, the city unanimously decides that they are now in favour of said rippons. Three members didn't vote, one because he came back late from lunch, and two because they did not support the motion, apparently they did not consider a nay vote to be a reasonable expression of their beliefs.
8. Mayor Miller announces several new taxes to be levied on Torontonians in an environmental initiative, these were the same taxes that were being considered as a way to make up for gross over spending, but NOW these taxes are to save the environment.
9. Did anyone notice the new look on the CN tower, it now glows, with red and white for Canada Day and rainbow colours which I imagine are to support gay pride. Correct me if I am wrong but I am pretty sure the city council paid for this. (can anyone verify this?)

So that is their story, and from what I hear in the media, people don't seem to be happy about it, but more so they don't seem to know, or care about it at all.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. Why don't you want to see your mayors head on a pike. Has he done anything worthwhile for you? Why do you vote for him? Why do you support him?

I don't think this man even has a thought of his own, he basically just tried to agree with everyone. This would explain why he approves all requests for spending, and the whole ribbon thing.
Living in Toronto, I am also very aware that Torontonians do not support the war in Afghanistan, but that doesn't mean they don't support those who are willing to give their lives fighting for Canada.

It honestly angers me a little bit.
It looks like I am going to have to pay a tax to go south of Bloor St. in order to make up the million dollars it costs to make the CN tower glow.
If you are concerned about the environment, why are you blatantly wasting energy like this anyway? Don't get me wrong, I think it looks pretty cool, but personally when I run out of cash I don't do go and spend a ton of money dying my hair funcky colours for Canada Day! (I used OSAP for that!)

The city council was just recently re-elected. They have over three years left in office. They have displayed constant irresponsibility, immaturity, and a lack of leadership and accountability in a very short time.

So we are just going wait and see if they get better, but personally the idea scares me.

I'm Adam Waldman
and I'm Over Here Now

COMMENT OF THE DAY

The flags are down in Toronto today with the passing of Honest Ed Mirvish. Honest Ed was the backbone of the city for a long time. He will be remembered fondly by millions of people.
Best wishes to the Mirvish family.

The Love or Learn as a Function of Time

2007-04-23T01:53:00.001-04:00

As always sparked by frequent rambling conversations about random nothingness, I arrived at a topic that seems to spike a nerve in most. I believe that there is a inverse relationship between knowledge and passion, and further exploration of this idea can help us better why we are the way we are. At first I thought time was a variable in the equation. As we get older and gain knowledge we lose our passion. It's a swap of ration for emotion. The initial time line looks something like this:
Stage 1: Toddler and early childhood:
After our initial arrival in this life we communicate solely with emotion. If we are hungry we cry like we just lost our best friend. If you jiggle some keys in front of our faces, we will giggle like a school girl. In fact our only expression is emotion for about a year.

Stage 2: Childhood
School is a big part of any childs life. But it is not by choice, it is the choice of those who are older than us, because they value knowledge. You go, and you try your best to succeed, but its not from a thirst for education, but for the positive feedback, and/or fear of negative consequences. When kids are given positive feedback it is in the form of compliments and stickers and other such pointless things that do nothing but give us a nice happy feeling. Negative consequences are often too logical, taking away something the child values so that they will learn not to repeat that behavior. However, if you have ever spoken to a child, they don't fear being grounded, they fear their parents yelling at them. Why? Why do children fear that which can not in any way hurt them. It is because they are completely emotionally driven.

Stage three:
As we continue to grow we begin to develop our a minute thirst for knowledge but this is not how most teenagers identify themselves. Identity is first formed in the image of emotional expression. Think about the things that teens look at when they evaluate their peers. How a person dresses, the music they listen to, what games they play, all of which are expressions of emotion. Those emotions have developed quite a bit since childhood. Puppy love begins in early teen hood and despite the name might describe the most passionate relationships that people have. It is typical for teenagers to swear their soul to a person one week, and another the next. Relationships with dramatic break-ups and make-ups are a stable in the halls of a highschool. This might be where people hit their emotional peak, our id identifies our personality more than any other time.

Stage four: Early Adulthood

In early adulthood, reason begins to trump emotion for the first time. University and College students begin to identify with their program of study. People begin to care more about their communities, become more politically inclined, and read for pleasure more. However that baser emotional reasoning is still their. This is probably why so many teens and young adults identify with the left wing. The left comes across as feeling out issues as opposed to using reason. Arguments are made based on emotional responses, to environmental issues, international issues, and community issues. A loathing for the right wing goes along with this, a distaste for beings who are viewed as heartless.

Stage after four:

As we continue to grow into people ration takes over more and more of our lives. We grow more concerned about the economy and less about the environment. Our outlook in relationships is more about finding compatibility and less about lust. We become less social and more independent. We attempt to keep calm when in all situations and look down on those that show too much emotion. We are ashamed to cry, and we never fall in love the way we use too.

The only problem with this model is that it is full of generalizations and absolutely true of no one.
So, maybe it is just a guide line or maybe it is just imperfect.

I'm Ellijah Mann
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

Sly comment about how you smell

What!

2007-03-07T18:06:00.000-05:00

"There was an accident and now there is a gas shortage. These things happen...we'll get through it together...this is nobody's fault..." -- Dalton McGuinty

Nobody indeed!

I'm Ellijah Mann and I'm over here now

Boobs and Brains

2007-02-07T16:47:00.000-05:00

Whilst eating at Hockey Sushi last night (btw worst place ever, has made me actually sick twice now, don't eat there) I really enjoyed watching the date that was going on at the table beside me. A teenage couple of a jock looking guy and a pretty much zit faced awkward girl with a giagantic rack. In my constant glances at their table I couldn't help but notice how not-subtle this guy was being at his direct concentration upon this young womans chest. In fact, he wasnt the only one, at least three or four times I noticed her checking out her own tits. Literally in the middle of conversation she would play with her shirt, put he head down and talk to her bossom for a little while. Well why not? They seem to be the centre of attention anyway, why not speak to them for a little?

The weirdest thing, is that from the looks of these guys, I totally would have thought they were having a pointless conversation comparing Beverley Hills 90210 to 24 somehow, but I was totally wrong.

Although all eyes were focused on the half revealed D cups, the speech was mostly focused on literature. They were deep in discussion about the Toronto District School Boards right to ban certain books, noteably the David Gutterson novel that was recently pulled from school liberary stacks.

But really how surprising is that, I mean are these not supposed to be immature shallow people. Are they not stupid because they oggle boobs? How shocking is this!

There are lots of lessons that could be learned here. 1. Dont judge a book by its cover 2. People who discuss literature are not necessarily genius. But most likely it 3. Everyone loves a nice set of tits!

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over her now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you are hairy, ugly, and smell really weird thus you must be a TERRORIST

MSN + Facebook + My Space = -GDP

2007-01-21T18:33:00.000-05:00

Note: the editing of this post has been forgone for my convience

If my memory serves me right, it was back in the mid 90's when post the release of Window's 95 and just before the nightmare that was Windows '98 that Microsoft introduced Windows Instant Messenger, a instant messaging program designed to take email to the next level. It came complete with shared white boards and note pads, designed to make your pc your new board room. At first it was novel, then it was confusing, then it got left behind but never forgotten.

Around this time I was about fourteen years old with a habit of downloading pics of naked celebrities on my dial up internet, when i discovered ICQ, a comparable program to msn marketed to social networking as opposed to business use. ICQ despite being an instant messaging system was more like the original Facebook or friendster. You could look up old friends, talk to people you never met, and make up fake profiles to play tricks on your friends. It was this generation that developed the instant messaging psychoses, just like those before us with the phone, and then the email, life had been made less frightening, less invasive, more private and more efficient... but wait! has it? With the phone commerce saw a huge jump, people were connected in a matter of seconds as opposed to weeks, information was shared almost at the speed of light as opposed to the speed of the fat postmans walking. Email took that a step further in a lot of ways. But what has msn done. For important information it is nothing compared to email, for simple meetings its worse than the phone, and in practice it is very rarely used to assist in the production of any good or service. It does consume a whole bunch of time though.

Here's the fear: As my generation begins to invade the labour force we take the weak study habits and over all apathy attitude with us. My sister phrased it best "before the internet i used to work out for two hours a day while a full time student and working part time, now i go on facebook" This is too common. Almost everyday at work i spend my extra seconds on the internet, I go on facebook and talk on messenger, and occassionally try to sell things on ebay, but for the most part I don't do things that could make my company more efficient. Almost everyone i speak to on msn is also at work. We make jokes about how hard we are working but really it's not a joke. As we consume more of the labour force our poor work ethic will eventually show on the GDP. We are entering an age where we can be at full employment and only reach half of our potential GDP. There may be a rather large recession coming and if it were up to me I would name it after myspace.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

Girl, you are like the transpose of matrix: always standing up when you should be lying down.

These are the Days of Our Parliment

2006-12-18T20:30:00.000-05:00

I watch CPAC and it is great.

It is far more better than the OC or your mother. This one time on CPAC Stephanie Dion was all like "M. Harper, mon chien, will umm ehhh...you admit that you have cut all the programs in the world , and FESS UP TO THE AMER....CANADIAN PEOPLE THAT THEIR LIVES ARE NOW RUINED BECAUSE OF YOU!!!%%%#&*"

Then there is like this rumble of cheers in the background, I believe it was Yankee fans who thought they would swing by for question period.

The Stephen replies with "actually Mr. Deon, (pauses for a brief chuckle to himself), we didnt cut anything in our budget we cut the retarded programs that were in the liberal budget that you guys didnt bother to run anyway. I would have love to have run them for you but you know you there is 40 million dollars missing from my budget that was misplaced into some brown paper bags and given to some italian guy to make bets on a horse race"

Then there was a barage of claps and boo's and such, this must have been the Red Sox fans.

Then Carolyn Bennet spoke and did that thing where she yelled so loud that she started to cry a little at the end of each sentence. After her question she just sat down and relaxed, I have to say it was worthy of an oscar for best supporting opposition.

While watching this I can only describe my state as completely entertained and overly embarrassed to be Canadian

Meanwhile I am also Elijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY
(for marcus) not offensive..well maybe to the people who run the City of Toronto Camps

peanut butter jelly time, peanut-butter jelly time...where you at where you at, there you go, there you go

Dating: A superior example of diminishing utility

2006-11-23T17:54:00.000-05:00

Think of it this way:

Boy meets: Girl (ten happy points)
Guy Gets Girls Phone number: (twenty happy points)
Guy gets to touch girls bum: (twenty five happy points).
Guy gets to call girl "girlfriend": (twenty happies)
More sex: (eighteen happies)
more sex: (sixteen happies)
long phone converation: (3 happies)

and so, more happiness is gained eached day, but not as much as the begining, and thus we have diminishing marginal utility.

So when does one dump another? Arguably when the marginal utility is eqaul to zero. However, empirically this is not the case, I know of many, as do you, couples that seem to be fine but certainly arent making eachother happier, so why stay together?

The answer is in risk aversion. You see although the happiness is no longer growing, and in fact is likely shrinking there is still some happiness there. It is just as one thinks maybe I could be happier with someone else, that the thought of that unfourtunate uncle who never got married pops into their head. "I dont wanna be like uncle leo do I" one thinks to themselves and thus decides to grab on to what they have already despite the fact that they would probably be happier elsewhere.

Thus SLUTS= RISK TAKERS
and PRUDES= MOTHERFUCKERS WHO DONT TAKE AS MUCH RISK AS THE SLUTS TAKE

and NORMAL = ME!

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

the odds of you being married in 2025 are about the same as the odds of you having a pension

Answering Machines and Smallville

2006-11-21T18:51:00.000-05:00

What do answering machines and smallville have in common? They are both what I want to write a blog about!

First thing, Lana pregnant, with Lex's baby, WTF? I can believe that some guy came from another planet and can shoot lasers from his eyes but Lana Lang in love with Lex is too much for me.

Second thing, why do people leave a list of possible reasons for their abscence in there answering machine greeting.

ie. "Hey you've reached Alanna, I am either at school, at shul, or can't come to the phone right now..."

What is the point of this? Do you feel the need to justify your lack of answer? Do you think we dont realize that you recorded this excuse well before I even called? Could you not just condence it with the 'can't come to phone right now'? Are you really trying to list all the reasons that you may have not picked up? Do you feel that you have succeeded in your list?

Here is my list:

"Hey you've reached Ada...oops Ellijah, I am either watching TV.... or.... at work or.... on the toilet with explosive diarrhea because of the nacho's and cheese I had earlier today, Im not really lactose intolerent but you know...everyone has their limits.... I could have left my phone in another room entirely and be completely unaware that you called, but dont worry I will go into that room soon and check it and ... you know...call back. Or.... I could be in the shower or somewhere else where it is...you know.... wet... thus not a good environment for a cell phone.... you know like a swimming pool; THAT's it I'm swimming, yes, swimming, so leave a message and I will get back to you when I get out of the pool."

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

ummm.....ahhhhh.....nigge....you know what never mind

Feeling Good About Yourself Via Putting Down Others

2006-10-03T11:48:00.000-04:00

After a week of Attoning for my sins, I must admitt I am feeling really good about myself... sorry really 'well' about myself.

But really you know. all those apologies and focused energy on being a better person, its good and all but, it takes a lot out of you.

If you want a fast and easy way to feel better about yourself with out the effort and long term commitments involved in repentment and attonement, try just simply making fun of some one ugglier than you. Almost immdiately you will feel better about yourself by comparison.

There are some people who wake up every morning and look themselfves in the mirror and say stuff like, "I am a winner", "I am good looking, fun to talk to, and people like me", "I am the shit yo, the fucking shit!!!!" and other such comments aimed at psyching a person up for their day and producing an unearned sense of confidence.
These people are clearly losers!

Instead why not wake up in the morning and tell someone else that they are a loser, or that they are ugly, annoying and no one likes them. Or just simply be like "hey buddy...you're retarded, your not the shit like me cause you're retarded." Almost instantly you will feel like a millions bucks, knowing that unlike the retarded retard that just walked by you are going places. You can be anyone, you can mock anyone, you can even fuck anyone, cause you know what there are two kinds of people in the world, the bullies and the bullied, and you are the prior.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over her now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

You're retarded and not the shit like me 'cause... you're too retarded

Carnival Activity Ride N' Investment Expert (CARNIE)

2006-09-28T18:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I offended a carnie by calling him a carnie. Seriously, aparently this is totally not pc. Who knew!

You see he was trying to get me to play the game where you shoot a pyramid of three cups with a gun that shoots a huge white ball. And I was all like, "it looks easy..." and he was like, "it's just as easy as it looks" so i was like "yeah but you're a carnie..." in a very joking tone (just ask rana) and he was like, "I don't want your fucking business," then he retracted the offer and went away. I apologized and told him I didnt know that was an offensive term, and he was like, "you people and your fucking stereotypes".

Now that I think about it, I totally see where he was coming from, I was making a joke stereotyping him as a guy who's game is fixed in order to rob me of three dollars.

However, in my defense a) I was just kidding, and a guy at a carnival should have a sense of humour. b) Even if he was offended by me, no reason to turn away my business, I mean is my money not green (that saying doesn't really work in Canada) is my money not funny! and c) His game is fixed in order to cheat me out of three dollars!

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

aparently it's calling someone a carnie

Take a Piss at MDSG

2006-09-22T09:34:00.000-04:00

I have decided that I now believe the following things:

1. Small governments are pointless, the only way a scoiety can learn to get along well in a self improving non-competitive way is if a big government tells everyone what to do with their time and money. Freedom is just a made up word that makes no sense anyway, so there are no worries on limiting peoples freedoms. For starters we should all be the same religion and this should be enforced by THE LAW. This way there would be nothing to argue over, you know most wars are religous in nature. This large government should also assign citizens jobs based on where they are needed. Nowadays there is too much career switching and no one really ends up specializing in anything, this is not an efficient division of labour. This large government would also be able to arrange marriages, which would alliviate our divorce rate..somehow.

2. Family is bad, community is good. So men and women can both be working all the time, people should have to send their kids to community day care, where all children can be raised with the same value system as the rest of the country. Most parents are bad parents, so it is about time that we take their kids away from them.

3. 100% tax rate. Have you seen the way some people spend their money. On stupid things like beer or popcorn! We should take their money away from them, and feed them in some kind of communal way.

4. NHL should become public. If the government owned all of our NHL teams and financed them through our 100% tax rate (well maybe we should give my friends a little tax break) , Quebec would still have a team, probably not Winepeg though (no heart in that town).

5. Food stamps are a good idea, everyone likes food right, it would be wrong not to have food stamps.

6. Elections are a waste of time and money, lets just pick a PM and stick with them!

I hope you agree with my new found beliefs and if so in near future please vote Liberal!

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you're such an extremist you not moderate extremist

WANTED: Amazing Lady

2006-09-21T20:45:00.000-04:00

I am seeking out an amazing lady to be my wife.

The successful candidate will have the following qualities:

1. Can be reffered to as both hot and cute

2. Cleans when I cook

3. Is always interested in my day, and has little to no interst in her own day, or more accuratly telling me about her day.

4. Boob's are a must

5. As are eyes and legs, and all the other normal things that women have...i guess

6. Understands my language. (my language is mostly english but with words put together in a so much way that you understand them but you wouldn't put them together that way)

7. Clean's when I don't cook

8. Has a lot of money (mostly to give to me)

9. Is liked by everyone, most importantly me

10. Agree's with all my political beliefs especially when they change

11. Never poo's (poo is gross)

12. Has the ability to ask for directions but does not, because I already know where I'm going

13. Tenni...AHH UNLUCKY

14. Tennis is a must for some reason

15. Ability to disapear upon request

16. Perferably not have a family...mine is enough thank you.

17. Likes sex, but can take care of things on her own if need be

Offensive Comment of the Day

(said by a fat, ugly, hairy, poor, abnoxious, smelly guy to his girlfriend): "I think we should just be friends"

So what's wrong with the Maple Leafs

2006-09-21T10:55:00.000-04:00

A: John Ferguson Jr. (idiot, maintaining a long tradition to Toronto GM idots)

So in the past we stayed comptetitive by trying to buy as many players as we could. All over priced guys at the end of their careers, figuring that if at least a couple played the way we know they can then we would be made!

But the days of Ron Francis being your third line centre are long gone. Now we are in Salary Cap land and have found no way of replacing the likes of Nolan and Mogilny.

Who does the cap hurt? Well the big spenders like us, NY and Detroit. Funny thing is that NY and Det seem to be doing quite well since the cap!

And if you think about it, it's not like we are being constrained by the cap, in fact we have a good five million in wiggle room right now!

Who does the Cap benefit: the answer is not the poor teams, yes they can be more competitive now, but honestly Columbus still can't nearly afford to get to the top of that cap so who cares.

It's the teams the players want to play for. Mostly being the Kings, and the original six plus maybe Phillie. That's right Hockey cities. In toronto alone over the past five years Joe Neuiwendyke (sp?) , Jason Alison, Gary Roberts, Doug Gilmour, Jeff O'neil, Eric Lindros, Tie Domi, Darcy Tucker, Shayne Corson and Cutris Joseph have offered to come to Toronto for very low prices because they wanted to be a leaf. In a lot of cases we accept the offer, in others we dont, and we often throw it away. Toronto has something against talent I guess? We never seem to bring in any of it. Instead we over pay people who show a lack of effort and leardership on the ice.

PREDICTIONS::::: In the east after a poor start by buffalo and a strong finish, ottawa sucking it up all year, and Toronto's mediocre but capitlalizing on Ottawa's misforune play, you will once again see a very strong NE division. thus the play off spots will look like this:

Flyers
Habs
Panthers
Sabres
Leafs
Rangers
Islanders
Penguins....That's right no chara no sens, old broduer + old Elias + no D = No devils

When money can't be the advantage in signing players anymore, something has to be, and being a hometown favorite and team that a lot of players want to play for in a city that a lot of players want to live in there is no excuse for not being competitive. Except for the fact that your general manager is not only bad at his job but extremely ugly to boot!

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you yegg...that's right now you have to look that up don't you...idiot

Should I support Bob Rae?

2006-09-15T10:13:00.000-04:00

warning: due to utter laziness this post has not been edited or spell checked

I don't forsee the conservative party of canada being in power forever, Canadians are not smart enough to make a good economic decision like that (DIS!!!!). On the flip side I have enough faith in my fellow Canadians that Jack Layton will never hold the letters PM before his name. This turns my interest to the Liberal Party of Canada. I am interested in the direction this party goes in, I feel that the leader chosen by the liberal party late this year will likely lead our government about seven years from now. Thus I would like a say in who that is. So far I am leaning towards Bob Rae. Here is a comprehensive breakdown of Mr. Rae's views, and most importantly whether I agree or disagree with them?

HEALTH CARE
BOB's PLATFORM:
Establish the Maple Leaf Drug Plan (I agree with this measure, if you are going to have purely public heath care, you need to have full public heath care. Steps should also be taken ifor a public dental system. Still any public insurance system has to be done well, so this could go either way. Best case senario would be two tier health, but no liberal will ever go for that)

Establich an accountablility system in the Canada Health act. (Although there is not much detail in how Bob plan's to get this done, I sympathize that sometimes you need to outline your goal's before your ultimate plan for obtaining them. This is badly needed, I support this)

Shorter Waiting times achieved through eHealth initiatives. (Not going to work, organize all you want, you have a lot of patients and no doctors, better organizational skills wont help)

Allieviate worker shortages, through additional funding to universities and colleges to help train more doctors and such, and by increasing the role of nurses and general practioners. (More training of doctors just means more brain drain to the states, invest that money in paying our doctors a little more, and more of them will stay. Increasing the role of other health workers will be a very effective stradegy)

Research to modernize our health care. (or we can continue to borrow from the states)

National Catastrophic Drug Plan (I disagree completely, more power to the provinces less to the federal government if you ask me)

Education

Here is Bob's seven point plan: "1) A principle we must enshrine in our education systems is that every qualified student should have access to college and university. No one should be loaded down with debts they can’t afford." Here here (or is that supposed to be spelled hear hear?)
"2) We need a federal-provincial student grants and loans program to cover both the living expenses of students and their tuition, starting with the least well-off students, and moving steadily upwards." In theory most provinces have this, the question is can bob make it better
"3) Ottawa should be a full funding partner in supporting the base operations of colleges and universities and priorities for labour market training, apprenticeship, research and graduate education."
"4) Apprenticeships should be recognized as a postsecondary destination, and apprenticeship programming delivered by colleges should be seen as a core focus of education policy." Innovative
5) "We must ensure Aboriginal Canadians can reach their full potential –jobs in the natural resource sector are often going unfilled, for instance; we have to do a better job in ensuring opportunities for skilled trades and apprenticeships. Alberta resource sector companies have taken important steps in this direction." If they don'y pay taxes, lets not spend too much of the tax revenue on them, I know that is harsh, but I feel that it is also true"
6) "We have to work harder to ensure that immigrants get jobs in their areas of expertise to help lessen the skills shortage. The Canadian economy loses $4-5 billion per year due to the credential recognition problem. We should also look at inland processing of applications from foreign students who want to stay and work in Canada." I dont know where here gets this figure of a 4-5 billion, but in general i agree.
7) A key source of growth is research and development. Yet this year’s federal budget was bereft of anything for the “excellence agenda”. We need a research and innovation strategy in Canada involving Ottawa, the provinces, universities, research institutes and the private sector. Universities must work with companies and venture capital to take the fruits of public research dollars to the market. wow biz savy for a guy who once led the NDP

PARTY REFORM

Gender equity: Bob plans to meet a quota of at least 50% of seats in parilment must be held by women. Disguise it in any way you want, this is affermative action, also known as discrimination, it's wrong, and it shows a lack of willingness to put in the effort to properly change the publics perception of who can and can't be in parliment. Futhermore, the fact that so much is written on this topic shows an inward focus that is consistent from the liberal's 'it's about us not the country attitude"

This is basically what i got from the website, there are still a few questions I have about Bob, before deciding to join the liberal party for a year and place a vote for Mr. Rae.

1. Does Bob support a free vote in parliment. I imagine not, but i would like to know for sure.

2. What's Bob's stance on gay marriage, I imagine he is a supporter but I would like to know that as well, not that it is an issue anymore, but I know alot of people who that is the swing issue for them.

3. Military, Guns and National Defense: Come on man get with the times.

I will make a decision by the weekend, feel free to try to persuade me one way or the other.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

It's not just that I am scared of Islamic people, now I'm scared of Gothic people too

Gun Control, Blame?

2006-09-14T09:49:00.000-04:00

On the day following Canada's latest gun massacre (averaging one per decade over the past thirty years) I find that blaming gun registry laws seems to be the "Canadian" thing to do. This upsets me...a lot. What retroactive action should be taken following the horrible events that led to two deaths, and many people in 'extremely critical condition' , after a 25 year old gothic video game junkie shot up Dawson College in Montreal? He used a registered gun. Should he not have been given a gun? Should anyone be given a gun? Is this the gun's fault?

A gun is just a weapon, it is a tool for destruction. If someone keys your car, do you blame the key? If someone bombs your house do you blame nitrogen? It sickens me that The Spew on Paper Post and the CBC, are using this event to strike sympathy for an expensive government programs for gun registry that have never seemed to work.

What is the real problem here? Apparently this Kimveer Gill (the one named shooter in yesterdays tragedy) kept a blog, where he often referred to himself as the angle of death. There were pictures of him holding a semi automatic and shooting up all around him. This guy lived at home, where were his parents, did no one realize this guy was dangerous. But then again, I am sure was perfectly sane and the gun made him do it.
And don't give me the old "he wouldn't have been able to do it without his registered gun" because the truth is that he could. He could smuggle a gun across the border, he could use a bomb instead, or maybe use a nail gun even; either way access to weapons is not going away, so what we need is a better system of identifying psychos, and getting them help. Thus I hope that Ottawa finds away to ignore the Star, the CBC and most likely Jack Layton and focus there energies on something that will keep me and my fellow Canadians safe from whacko's will delusions of grandeur.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

THE OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

I thought of a good one, but still in respect to yesterdays tragedy there will be no offensive comment of the day, but if you really want to be offended you can email me at cuzimbigger@hotmail.com, and tell me a little bit about yourself, I'll probably be able to find something wrong with you.

Immoral vs. Unlawful

2006-09-12T11:20:00.000-04:00

Simply put: At what age should it be legal for a person to consent to sex with an adult?

Liberal View: 14
Conservative View: 16
My View: 15
Mark's View: Never (no one should ever have sex)...EVER!

First and most importantly (I think), people need to understand what this debate is actually over. It is not a discussion of what age a person should be able to engage in monkey plow time, nor is it really asking what age a person should be able to sleep with anyone. It's simply saying how young does a person have to be so that we can arrest an adult that "rams" said person, whether the person is consenting or not.

Right now it is legal for an 18 girl to do a 14 year old guy. And why not, that may be a little immoral, but i dont see it as a crime. On the other hand 18 is the youngest an adult can be in the eyes of the law. Is it ok for a 35 year old woman to do the same 14 year old boy? In my opinion that should be illegal, there is no way that she is not in a position of authority over this kid, thus there is not an equal amount of power (potential) in that relationship, thus making it rape.

When I think of the thirty year old as opposed to the eighteen year old, I am tempted to agree with the torries and make the age of consent 16. But that would also make it illegal for 18 year olds and 15 year olds, to mess around in the park behind my house. I disagree with that.

So... here is what I think we should do:

Plan 1: Make it 15. The thirty year old guy hooking up with a 15yr old is equally gross as a 16yr old so why split hairs, but to an 18 year old there is definitely a difference between 15 and 16, making 15 a very good place to draw that line.

Plan 2 (the best plan): A 4 year buffer ending at 17. Too see how this will work please see the chart below.

The Chart Below:

LEGAL AGE TO screw EITHER VAGINALLY, ANALLY,
AGE: HETEROLY,HOMOLY or any other way
other than ANIMALY

18: 14
19:15
20:16
21+:17

See this is simple, rather than trying make a simple rule for a complicated situation, we have a slightly more complicated rule that better fits the situation,

Method 3 (the wouldn't it be great if Method): Half your age plus six

In general I find that half your age plus seven is a very good method for determining moral sexual behaviour. We change it to six here for two reasons. 1. we are not looking for what is gross or not so gross, it should be legal to be gross, after all, it's legal for ugly people to have sex (although maybe it shoudnt be), thus there is a little more grace in the defention of what is illegal. 2. Teenagers are hot (Nuff' said!)

Not that method 3 is not that far off from method 2. For an eighteen year old, half his age is nine, plus six is fifteen, a year older than above. For 19 its 15.5; for twenty its 16. and for 21 it's 16.5. If you round using the proper scientific method you get almost the same thing. :)

On a side note I just finished reading Digital Fortress by Dan Brown; and I recomend it (not highly but strongly). It was much better than the DaVinci Code.

anyway,

I'm Ellijah Mann
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you know when it's really hot out and you are sweating and you are wearing really thick underwear and you get that sweat in your ass crack, and it smells really bad, and it kinda feels like you didnt wipe your ass the last time you shat, and you keep getting weggies because of it, and you keep trying to subtly pick them but they just stick right back there against the sticky gross summer ass sweat?... Well... that is you, that is what being with you is like!

Natural Need Not Equal Good

2006-08-31T13:18:00.000-04:00

I love the new western phase of adoring that wich seems not to have been interfered with by man. Organic fruit, and pesticide free produce alike, people seem to be yearning for a retreat to a time before evil technological advances.

You can learn alot about a person from the fruit they are willing to eat. Mostly ignorance. I understand the notion that, "i only eat organic fruit because i know people have been eating grapes for millions of years and have not died from it yet, and the same cant be said for preservatives". That does make sense to me. The whole "it taste better" thing though: liar! Organic fruits are simply not ripe for as long as chemically altered fruit, so i simply find this hard to believe. The real rub here is that normally people cant tell you why they chose organic, they just 'know' that preservatives are bad! Why are they bad, no fucking clue (for the most part) but they just are.

Why would you rag on preservatives, do you know how many poor countries can feed their children better, with imported fruits and vegetables that survived the plane ride! Feeding people is good, because we need food to live and our ultimate shared goal as a species is to survive, therefore perservatives are good. Beat that argument hippies!

Another quaff I have is with global warming! I without a single doubt understand my own lack of understanding of global warming, so dont take this as a global warming is good type thing. All I want to know is what the benefits are.

Around the area where I work there was a fleet of green peace workers cirlcling the block begging for change. I individually asked each one if there are any benefits to global warming. Without hessitation each and everyone of them said no, not one benefit. A few of these people went into great detail about how concerned they are about greenhouse gases, and exactly what someone told them is going to happen if we don't stop George Bush right now (aparently his flatulance is the sole cause of the diminishing polar ice caps). I really got a feel for the type of person this is: Amazingly short sited. I mean, these people devote themselves so passionately to a cause without having even considered doing a proper analysis of the situation to form a substantial stance.

In answer to my question, yes it seems that there are many positive effects of global warming. The greatest being higher crop yeilds due to increased carbon dioxide. Unfourtunately it looks like the quality of the fruit may decrease due to the same issue. This is the hippies cue to say something like "SEE, I told you there arent any benefits" Well it's still a benefit douchebag! And there are many of them. I feel that Global Warming is probably quite the concern, I just want to see a full cost-benefit analysis of the situation. With all factors involved, not just planetary, but economically, leisurely etc. I also want them weighted properly, with smart methods of measuring utility. This may be a tad unreasonable, but it would certainly sell the whole left wing nutjob thing a lot better.'

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm Over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

not gonna lie...it's cause you fat

Welcome Home

2006-08-09T19:10:00.000-04:00

The following is a email i recieved from a friend upon her recent return from Lebanon:

"Dearest friends, Firstly, I want to thank you all for your concern and show of support over the past couple of weeks. My family is now back in Canada, we arrived late Saturday night and have been trying to catch up on some well deserved sleep and rest since. The trip home was interesting, and heartbreaking. I still have yet to release myself from the surreal ness of the situation I have just experienced. As I sit here in my room, safe in Canada, I have yet to grasp the idea that I am home. I still think that I am going to wake up from this horrible nightmare and my life will be the same as it was a month ago. Once the realization that this might not happen sinks in, I may have a hard time adapting to the reality of the situation. But for now, I am trying to keep the faith and remain optimistic for the people of Lebanon and for the future of Lebanon. After waiting to receive a call from the embassy to let us know when we would be evacuated, on Tuesday July 25th, we were informed that the Canadian Embassy was no longer calling citizens and that people were being evacuated on a first come first serve basis. This information came from both the local news and the father of my friend. We then double check with the Canadian Embassy in Beirut, and in fact that was the new plan, to evacuate people daily on a first come first serve basis until August 2nd (which was later changed to July 29th). Therefore, on Thursday July 27th, my family and I woke up at the crack of dawn to set out on our journey back to Canada. We left out house in Tripoli at 5:30am, to arrive at Biel at 6:30am in order to get a spot in line. Thank god we thought of coming early; as the embassy had said arrive at 9am. We then waited in line for 6 hours. This was by far the worst part of the evacuation. It was hot, people were getting agitated, there was no information being given to us, and the rumour mill was flying. We heard everything from, there are no boats leaving today to people saying you could evacuate family and friends with you, that you were allowed only 5kg of luggage. In the end, I believe three boats left that day, and no luggage was turned away (which made me a little frustrated, as I only packed a backpack. Those of you who know me, know how I have a lot of stuff). People's emotions were running high in line, whether this was from the situation or the heat; was hard to tell. There was little water being offered, and the water that was available was warm. We had paid attention to the media, so came prepared with cold water and some food. I can only compare this wait to being in a hot club on opening night where you can not move an inch. As you got closer to the front of the line people began to push, and no one could have possibly come out of the line without a few scrapes and bruises. I in no way blame anyone for this line up craziness, we were outside with no real information just waiting, but with no certainty did we know if we would be able to leave. I do however believe that had someone been informing the people in line of what was happening, or if there were people walking up and down the line making sure that people were being respectful to each other, the tension may have been eased a little. This is a comment that I have for the entire evacuation process; there was very little information available to the evacuees at any point in time. And on top of having to evacuate a country, this feeling of uncertainty and lack of knowledge was very uncomforting. Once we made it past the line and into the hands of the Canadian government, I felt that the process was rather smooth. Time consuming, but smooth. We had to wait in a few more lines that were a lot more organized where they cleared us for immigration and customs. After we cleared, we were sent to wait in a room to be taken to the boat. This room was air conditioned, and there was food available. About an hour later our number was called and we were taken to the port, to board the boat. The boat we took was a Turkish ferry boat, which normally does not make such long voyages. There was enough room on the boat for maybe about 225 people. There were two sections were people could sit, on deck there were rows of benches, and below deck there were seats (airplane style). We sat on deck the entire time, as the fresh air was necessary to avoid feeling ill. My family was fortunate, as we do not normally get sea sick. I would say about 50% (no exaggeration) of people were sick at some point in the 11 hour journey from the port of Beirut to Mersin, Turkey. At one point, I looked up from my seat to notice that almost everyone around me was throwing up. It was a sight and sound I will never forget, the faces of desperation, fear, hope and exhaustion. After clearing customs and immigration in Mersin, we boarded a bus and were taken to an arena in Adana, Turkey. The arena was filled with mattresses and evacuees, who had arrived the day before us. The arena was as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. There was plenty of hot water, food, towels, blankets and personal amenities. But, the information was still slow to arrive to the people and the Canadian contingent of workers who were there were in a tough position. They were receiving very little information as to when and if planes would be coming to take more people. We stayed at the arena for about 20 hours before we were bused to the airport to board a plane to Montreal. These 20 hours went by rather slowly, and were filled with much frustration. At one point, we were all asked to line up to be taken to the airport to board planes, which was a extreme sense of relief, a call came in that said the plane had technical difficulties and was unable to take off. At that point we were told we would have to spend a second night in the arena. This did not go over well with people. There were a lot of tears, screams and long faces. But thank god, in the end most 200 of the 225 people I had come with from Beirut were flown to Montreal. The 25 people that stayed behind, I believe were sent to a hotel to take a good shower and get some decent rest. While I was glad to leave, I was sad that there was no priority being given. Some of the people who were left behind were women with children and the elderly, it seems as though there was little concern for the actual individuals, and it was about getting people out. At this point we were already out of harms ways, priority should have been given to those who needed to reach the comfort of their own homes. We arrived in Montreal early Saturday morning. In Montreal we were greeted by the Canadian Red Cross, and then taken to a hotel where we were able to get some rest and take a decent shower. Saturday afternoon we took a train to Toronto, where we were once again greeted by a Canadian contingent who gave us water and hand sanitizer. From Union Station we took a cab home. Once in Canada I would like to point out that there were a lot of services available for Canadians coming home. Many people who came were in need of finding lodging and employment, as this stay is going to be permanent. Social Services, Employment Agencies, Canadian Arab Federation Representatives, and government officials were on hand to send people in the right direction. I am now home safe and sound, but there are many people who are not as fortunate as me. My thoughts are with the people of Lebanon: the family, friends, co-workers and neighbors that are left behind with no where to go and with only hope in their hearts for the little nation that can. In peace, hope and love, ***"

Always wrong

2006-07-31T23:07:00.000-04:00

On the eve of yet another pathetic failed attempt at some type of a romantic life, it occurs to me, that maybe the rest of the world isnt wrong about absolutely everything and maybe I am?

I dont have a fear of commitment, I think? I mean, I know what committment is, and the idea of it in no way gives me the shivers. I mean, its not going to bite! (of course its not going to bite, you drown in it you idiot). But never the less, I dont want a girlfriend out of the blue, I just want something that may (or may not) develop into a girlfriend.

Woman dont seem to like this. They, for the most part, seem to want a boyfriend more than they want the boy.

I constantly find myself in situations where, a girl wants me to be her boyfriend, and I just want to date. We normally end up trying it my way, and eventually end it cause we dont want the same thing.

But what do we want?

WHAT I WANT: In the long run, I want a wife. In the very long run, i most like want a second wife. In a long time, i would like to have a fiance. Prior to that I would like to have a girlfriend. And before that, I would like to be dating this person. DATING THIS PERSON INCLUDES: Speaking frequently (not everyday and especially not every hour, but often, say three times a week). Going on Dates (ie. doing stuff together, things like seeing movies, put put, and other recreational activities). Sex (not too often, but not never). Over all I am me, she is she, and our paths cross quite often.

WHAT I DONT WANT: a new best friend. I have a best friend, so the job has been filled already. A dependent (just that i dont want my work, where i live, what times i do things to revolve around her). Constant snuggling, (i like to snuggle, its nice, sometimes i also like to stretch out). Mandatory phones calls (I wanna call cause i want to speak to you, not just because I should). Couple fights (normally these consist of arguments that stem from people tacking out the challenges of life on eachother). Comprimise (although this is a part of a heath relationship, when people are just dating, there should be little need for compromise).

WHAT THE LADIES WANT: the point of dating is so things can develop into a more serious relationship, if that is what both of us are hoping for, then lets screw the dating stage and jump into the relationship! Why is this so important? Is it because they are really falling for me want to be with me all the time. (as much as i would love to say yes; i dont think so!) I think there is a part of every woman that wants to show off to other women, the they have a boyfriend, (and he is a good one). Thus they want: to hold hands everywhere you go. (this lets people know that we are together) To introduce you to everone i know (so they know that i didnt just make you up). Get in little fights (so we can make up, and love eachother even more, like on tv). Let me know where you are at all times (.... ummm...you know i really dont know why people want that). Sleep together every night (that's what married couples do, so we should practice)...and so on.

IN CONCLUSION: Reading over that, I dont think it is unreasonable for people to want what the ladies want. I just think that is the kinda of relationship that you should grow into, not jump in to. I feel that this problem comes up so often, and with more people that just myself because there are two types of people in the world, those who like being single and those who hate it. If you like being single, and independent, you are not likely to want to jump into couplehood until you know that it will be worth giving up some independence. If you are the hate it type, than you are in a rush to get to the couple part, so you can not feel lonely anymore. Thus in the end those who love independance will be more compatible, and those who prefer couplehood will be too. I am pretty sure that is for the best anyway.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and Im over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

even fat people dont like you

Discrimination more then reason, legitimate excuse

2006-06-12T21:23:00.000-04:00

In Reference to a recent expose by my favourite Cracker (except maybe ritz, I am sorry mark but think of the cheessy goodness!) titled, 'Discrimination is not a defence...' it came to my attention that some people plea their unlawful actions addmissible because they are descriminated against.

Is this ok? I wonder? I feel not, but have not really thought about it? hmmm... is it ok to over eat because you are fat? Is it ok to smoke because you are addicted? Is it ok to throw up because you are bulimic? Is it ok that these theoretical questions have nothing to do with the topic of this post? --no...no it's not!

I'm Ellijah Mann, (I know, get used to it)
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

I hope you dont view your stature in life as determined by how few people ignore your calls

Number 9

2006-06-05T20:17:00.000-04:00

10.06.05 Titled: "Patience is a virtue: Bullshit"

This entry was written when I first realized how often people use cliches to attone their ridiculous behaviour. If you are late for dinner and it is not ok because 'patience is a virtue!' Recently I have noticed other examples, specifically people who say, "whatever, life is too short" You know what; NEWS FLASH it's not actually that short, in fact we spend a lot of it doing nothing, thus it seems in life we are not pressed for time, thus if I want to waste some of it being in a bad mood on my vacation I CAN!!!!!!

number nine

Every now and then people make a lot of comments about how fast paced the world has become, especially the american world. "Always looking for the quick fix" they say, or "Its all about instant gratification nowadays!".Well I am sorry Grandpa, but what the fuck is wrong with doing things efficiently. Its seems to me that the growth of societies and the development of economies seems to be all about improvement. Getting things done better and quicker. That's right quicker, quicker is infact still better than slower. In fact you could say that quickness is a virtue. What is wrong with getting things done quickly? What is wrong with solving large problems in mere seconds. Do important things have to take a long time or something. I know in Canada we are more laid back by comparison, and there are some bonuses to that. There is less "Rush to our lives" and such. But as far as that is concerned, how rushed you feel is relative to what you are used too. A person who spends most of there time at home, only leaves for a few hours a day, and never misses their twelve a o'clock nap, may well look at me and say that I am way too fast paced. In my opinion its called being productive, and I consider that a virtue too. Its true that many a people in contemporary times are looking for the bigger better product, and the quick fix to all of their problems. My question is why isnt everyone? You should always strive for improvement in any fashion of life, yes you should stop to smell the roses once in a while, but dont spend all your time in the flower bed.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm overe here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

I hope you die, it's just that simple

Best of IOHN

2006-06-01T19:49:00.000-04:00

Due to lack of time and effort, I have decided to try to pick my favourite, IOHN posts, in some kind of a top ten format.

It works this way...you start with ten and go to one... and i republish them.

This one is from Sept. 08 2005 titled "There may be a god but he's not what you think"

number ten:

Does G-d exist? The oldest of philosophical questions perhaps, (aside from just plain old 'why?') and yet we dont really seem to be even to an answer. Since I am the smartest guy ever! I will answer it. Perhaps the problem is that no one really defines "god" well. What does god mean? Is God Simply the creator? If so then of what? the earth? the galaxy? The universe? simply everything? Or is God that which controls all things and makes miracles happen and such? Most commonly I guess, we define god as all of the above. Now lets try to answer the question, Does God exist? If we defind god as the creator of everything, then it can go either way. If by everything you actually mean everything, then no god does not exist. PROOF: A is god then for every B, A created B I am the sole creator of this Post If the second sentence is true (which it is) then by sentence one, I am god. But i did not create shoelaces, so i am not god, thus a contradiction thus sentence one can never be true. QED If you actually mean that God created that which everything else came from, then god with out a doubt does exist. Everything seems to have come from something, but this cannot go on forever. There eventually has to be something that came from nothing, whatever that thing is, is thus god. (God is most likely a particle, that no longer exists none the less). If we define god as the guy who makes the miracles happen, then rather than calling him god, lets call him Mr. Wizard. Apparently god is pretty good at magic. Now a lot of philosophy specialists would respond with "ahh, but can god make a rock so heavy that even he cant lift it?" And I will respond with, "go smoke another joint you fucking tool". No one is saying that god can do anything and is all powerful (this is obviously not true by the rock example), I am just saying that god is magical, and can do things that by our rules of physics and logic arent possible. So you see God is a great magician, but he does have his limits. In fact The Great God from the Kingdom of Heaven, actually has a lot in common with Gandalf the grey from the Kingdom of Mordor. It is also possible that Mr. Wizard is the thing that existed first and created a whole bunch of other stuff, like galaxies and shit. But that is not very likely. So it looks like god is probably just a fictional character. But if you prefer the side of faith, then rest assured that there is no real proof in logic or otherwise that god does not exist at all (if you define him as the wizard that came from nothing) he is just not a great and all powerful as you probably thought. And seemingly impossible to get in touch with. So keep praying, but it really doesnt look like anyone is listening.

Im Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

I'm not mad; you just suck

What is Wrong with Religious People

2006-05-04T05:11:00.000-04:00

Why are religious people so weird. They are so culty and stuff, and they seem dedicated to the belief that their religion is right. To the point that it seems that they will look down upon the other misguided religious people that were shamefully born into the wrong religion. I think people need to believe that there is something about them that makes them better than everyone else. That is probably how different religions developed, people just looking for a reason to say, "hey, I am clearly better than you. Just look at my religion, and they way that we believe in god and worship him better than you do". It is not unconcievable that god exists, or that he has some rules that he wants us to follow, you know just basic shit, and he may even have magic powers. But what I dont understand, is without actually having spoken to god, why would you assume that it is gods will that you should: say specific prayers to him at certain times, wrap your head up in blankets, have three sets of dishes, not masturbate, give 11.6% of your income to charity, and often blow up people who are disbelievers. What is up with that. To me it just seems silly some of it. Why do people believe such weird things. Maybe it is Pascal's Paradox (I think it is Pascal, feel free to correct me if i am wrong) the idea that, if god doesnt exist, then you look like a fool for a while, no biggie, and if he does exist that its good that you did all those foolish things so you dont spend eternity in hell. By that logic, shouldnt we follow all religions, just to be safe, but we cant, cause god will get mad at us for not picking the right one. So i guess, you should just go with an educated guess as to which religion you follow. (Go with Scientology, come on do it you wont do it). Also I dont feel that Fascal set up a clear certainty equivilant. You see, if the probabilty of a religion being right is oh about zero, than it still probably makes more sense not to do foolish things. In the end it is clear that people arent religious because they genuinely believe in god, or whatever. It is like a club or a group to give a sense of belonging. My recomendation: just join a frat or something, probably a lot more fun, and a less diet restrictions.

I'm Ellijah Mann, and
I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

You are the all being cause of nausea and aboriginals kinda look like neanderthals

Fat People and Walking Velocity

2006-04-25T01:47:00.000-04:00

Queensland, Australia reminds me quite a bit of the deep south, America. People call it 'laid back' but that is just code for fucking lazy. Coincidentally they are fat too. I kinda always assumed that they were lazy because they were fat. But that is not it at all, I have figured it out completely. It starts with the heat, these places are hot, and when you heart rate gets going in the heat it is not so pleasant. So people tend to walk slower, due to this they dont burn as much fat, thus they get real fat which leads to laziness. Its a laziness caused by laziness motif if you will. In fact I would go as far as saying that this blog entry isnt really about anything. But I still stand by my position that the institution of boyfriend and girlfriend cannot be achieved by a consented decision, all it is at most is a defenition for a typical kind of relationship between people. Often these people are fat people, who live in the dirty diry south, who are fat because they dont rush to get anywhere, possibly because of the heat. In the end they are also stupid, I am not sure why exactly but I am certainly smarter.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY
courtesy of Adriana Minelli

shoulda thought of that before you finger fucked your ass... BOOBS

The Curse of the Big E

2006-04-16T05:45:00.000-04:00

It can't just be a coincidence can it?

A part of me is shocked to hear news of a maple leafless playoff season in the NHL this year. I mean for the most part I thought we were very good. There have been a few draw backs this season but there have been a lot of pleasant surprises as well.

First off: Ed Belfour, I think we all saw that coming, he is old and broken and it would have been weird to think that he was going to play at all well.

Second: The leafs have no defense. Not true, not true at all. True that they lack depth on dee, but how many teams have McCabe and Kaberle playing half the game for them. I think the buds are actually strong and getting stronger defensively.

What about the promised glory that was to come from Jason Alison, and Jeff O'Neil? Well in the end I think it did come from Alison, statistically speaking at least. O'Neil was a bit of a let down, but majorly made up for with the play of Wellwood and Steen. Even Antropov had a good season, and Sundin was his vintage, really good but not great. So what gives? We are normally in the top four, and now tenth!

Eric Lindros! We didnt expect much from Eric, we expected him to get hurt, which he did, we expected him to possibly get killed which he didn't, which is good. Instead he hurt his wrist...baby!

If memory serves me right, Lindros never seems to make the playoffs. He seems to play for very talented teams, I recall Ranger teams that featured Mark Messier, Pavel Bure, Anson Carter, Jaromir Jagr, Brian Leetch etc... those were some pretty big names that never made the playoffs. Weirdly enough, they have very little talent now, and a lot of young kids making their way up, and they are looking to hold the number three seed in the Eastern Confrence. The difference, no Lindros!

It must be his attitude, or his smell or something, but teams with Eric on them just dont seem to win.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

ya well you're a....a....ummm.....dildo?

What Race matters Most?

2006-04-11T03:38:00.000-04:00

I wish we lived in a world where colour didn't matter. Where every man iss a free man, and some are women too. Where no one's importance to the world is determined by the colour of their skin.

But of course comments like those above must mean that we do currently live in a world where an individuals worth is somewhat decided by the colour of their skin. If this is the case it makes me wonder, what race matters the most?

Thus we shall try to rank the following groups in terms of who is the most to the least important: Asians, Whites, Blacks, East Indians, Aboriginal's, and Hispanics

1. BLACKS: The African American race holds by far the most amount of power within north America. First off pretty much everyone is scared of them, which holds an inherent power similar to that of god's. Perhaps they stole the number one spot from the whites, but really how often do you see a black guy walking down the street pretending to be a white guy? NEVER. Yet everyone wants to be black, if the black community started wearing shoes on their heads, and ear muffs on their knees; sure enough everyone else would follow. Not to mention if a guy from each of the races listed hear were all in the same room, everyone would think the black guy has the biggest coital tool, and really isn't that what truly matters?

2. WHITES: they have like all the money, and according to recent poles money is important. It can buy things like TV's, cars, handbags, and love. And it can also can buy you the number two spot on my list.

3. ABORIGINALS: they got that whole guilt thing going on for them. Remember the time we stole their land and raped their women. Just by virtue of the fact that they lived through generations of that shit makes Aboriginals a pretty important group. They also don't pay taxes. My dad once told me that there are two thinks you can count on in life, death and taxes, and these motherfuckers actually get to skip one of them. Lucky bastards.

4. HISPANICS: Because they are often mistaken for white people. (Wow, I am clearly going to hell)

5. EAST INDIANS: A group with great technological values, and a traditionally stellar work ethic, should be much higher on the list. Unfortunately they don't seem to be taken seriously due to there all to common appearance in job's such as cab driver, quickie mart operator and personal financial advisor.

6. ASIAN: Who said size doesn't matter? Asian people perhaps contribute the most to the planet, whether it be the amount of people, goods, or services the Asians keep the world turning . And in most ways the Asian community is far superior to the rest. They typically have higher test scores; they pollute less; they save more money and thus make more investments; and although they hold on to their individual heritages, they seem more willing to adapt to foreign cultures than the rest of the races. Then why are they last? They just are.

Well that's my list, as for all the races not mentioned here; well they just don't matter at all.
Until next time...

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY
after this entry do you really need to be offended more?

sex with you is a good example of diminishing marginal returns

terrific! terrific!

TDA: Dating: The Greatest Invention of Queen Drama

2006-04-08T03:09:00.000-04:00

THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE

WARNING: Despite a brief editting this entry, although quite interesting

and mildly entertaining, contains some sentences that could have been worded more good. All apologies

DATING: The Greatest Invention of Queen Drama

It occured to me recently that the idea of dating, 'going out', 'going steady', or as my mom calls it 'going', is perhaps the dumbest notion in history.

Let's go over what dating really is.

1. Monogamy: this is always involved except in some freaky dickey president of SAC involved weird couples who clearly arent worth considering

2. The possibility of Marriage: The ultimate goal is clearly spend the rest of your lives together

3. Companionship: Someone to spend time with, and be a best friend, a confidant and a garunteed fuck

4. BOW CHICA BOW WOW: you know...you know

This is supposed to be what dating is. But I argue that dating is none of these things. The institution of couplehood exist soley to give drama to otherwise purposeless and boring lives.

Monogamy, you dont need to be in a committed relationship to have this. This is something that should happen because two people only want to be with eachother, if this is not the case they should not be dating. Perhaps there is a degree of reassurance, the knowing that someone else feels the same way, but that really is just rubbish pure bunghole up the garbage shoot dirt nasty you thought you threw it away last week but its been in the trash the whole time rubbish. Monogamy is the most defining characteristic of mariage, but dating is not marriage so why is it pretending to be.

Which leads us to the possibility of mariage. Well there is always the possibility of marriage. Dating is the same thing as marriage only its a commitment that you are allowed to get out of a lot cheaper. So if it is a commitment that you are not really oblidged to keep, than that really isnt a commitment now is it. So than what is Dating if not a committment?

Perhaps its number three; companionship. A way of not being lonely for a little while. But why cant you spend a lot of time with someone that you are not dating? Is there a law that limits the amount of hours of company that can enjoyed if you arent dating? You can call eachother everyday, you can have sex a lot at first and then once a month later, you dont need to be Dating for that, which pretty much eliminates number four as the reason for dating. Dating is beyond a doubt not about the sex. As we all know dating ruins sex the same way that sex ruins frienships.

So then what is Dating really? It is a tool developed by drama queens so that their can be aniversaries and couple fights, and cheating, and breakups, you know all the fun things that provided the fuel for sex and city to become a success.

Here is my resolution: If you like someone, spend time with them, if you want to spend more time with them... do that. If you want to spend all your time together do that too. If you want to play with the taco's and sausages every fortnight do that too. And if oneday you dont want to anymore, than stop. And if you decide that you want to keep doing that forever, then do that. If you are so happy about this that you would like to have a party, you can get married. But there is really no reason to ever be dating, because not only is the entire notion stupid, it is pretty much just an illusion too.

I'm Ellijah Mann,

and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

before you were born everyone was an optimist

Mom or A Camel

2006-03-30T05:25:00.000-05:00

In a recent study taken by none other than yours truly, 100% of women said they would rather make out with their mom as opposed to a camel; whilst 90% of men would opt for the camel.

What can we learn from this? Well all jokes aside... probably nothing. So let's joke then shall we.

I think this is a clear indications that a) all women really dig their mom's b) Most men dig camels and c) Trix is clearly for kids

On a more serious note, I feel that you can learn a lot about a person from their answer to the question: "who would you rather make out with, your mom, or a camel?"

Given the fact that clearly it would be dangerous to make out with a camel, and the reasonable answer really should be your mom, so you can say a lot about how down to earth and mature a person is when they pick their mother.

On the other hand, this is clearly not a serious question and it is much more fun to joke about giving a goat (or camel, whatever same thing) a tongue lashing than it is to joke about locking lips with mom. Thus people who say "camel" are clearly more fun.

In conclusion women are much more mature and down to earth than men unfourtunately they are also totally boring.

I'm Ellijah Mann
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

sex hardcore fuck tits bj ass jugs cheerleader nurse gay porn video fetish... ok maybe that is not so offensive and certainly not a comment but I really want to get more hits and this is what most people search.... ok fine... you want something offensive...ummmm....fuck you.

We All Do It. Ew.

2006-03-21T18:59:00.000-05:00

I was watching that family guy episode, where Peter and Lois walk in on Brian masturbating. Good episode. Later when they are talking about how like everyone does it, it occured to me that...well...that might actually be true. Everyone probably does do it. And now that I think about it, I dont know if I trust leaving anyone on their own again EVER. I mean like EVERYONE does it. Including the guy who's picture is randomly included in this entry. This includes ugly people, even the really ugly ones, especially the really ugly ones. How is it that there are no laws against this (north of the dixie line of course, you know in places that matter). I mean really ugly and fat ass people with rashes and stuff are allowed to just defile themselves whenever they want. And yet I cannot think of one way to stop them. Thus I am open to sugestions?

On a side note, Let's go Blue Jays

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

I think you're a loser, and I do math for fun

Great Culture Shock

2006-03-21T02:06:00.000-05:00

I am in a library in Sydney Australia. People are not quite here. WOW. You are even allowed to use your mobile. Double WOW.

People are talking and everyone is ok with this. If there is one thing that we were taught as children groing up in America Jr./Canada (all apologies to all of you who define your homeland as ~America, but it's true) is that you shouldnt make noise in a library. Remeber hearing this as a child, "SHHHHH, we're in a library" Well aparently no one ever said that to these people.

Sure they drive on the left/wrong side of the road. And speak a version of english that is clearly stolen from nations that existed both before and after them, and sweet chilli sauce is bigger than sliced bread. Still no real culture shock in Oz, until now. Imagine a loud library, the library nazi on the second floor of Robarts would have a heart attack if he were here. Not to mention the fact that no one has a tcard.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you are clearly my beta

McDonalds = Masturbation

2006-03-17T00:38:00.000-05:00

First things first, I want the reader to just sit back and marvel at the way the title of this post seems to already make perfect sense.

Here is my logic; which albeit is not always the best logic, but in all other ways is the best logic.

Eating McDonalds and Masturbating seems to switch roles when you are young and old. Lets start with McDonalds.

When you are young, all you want is McD's; it is so delicious and makes you feel all good inside. You probably crave a nice big Mac at least once per day. Every now and then you like to mix it up with diferent sauces and stuff, just for, you know, some variety.

But when you are older, eacting McDonalds is a lot like what masturbating was like as a child. You crave it and crave it and crave, until you finally give in. You order that super sized meal and enjoy it to its highest potential; then, when it is done, you feel really really ashamed of yourself. Immediately you feel the need to wash your hands, or maybe go for a run, yeah a run, that is normal thing to do. Also similar to masturbating as a child, when you eat McDonalds you always would prefer someone to do it with you. But you would never want someone to watch you when you thought you were alone.

In a similar fashion Masturbating now is very similar to what eating McDonalds was like as a child. It also makes you feel good inside, you crave it at least once perday, and every now and then you like to mix it up with different sauces and stuff, you know, just for some variety.

Thus if as we age Masturbating and eating fast food switch roles there must be a point in time when they are the exact same thing. I think this happens in grade 11, but i am not entirely sure.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

This is a great blog, and I can say whatever I want, cause you know what? I'm White

In memory

2006-03-11T21:47:00.000-05:00

In memory of Brian Waldman

A loss of a family member sucks. There is really no other word for it, it just sucks. My uncle Brian was never a big family man, yet he always managed to give me a different sense of my family that no one else could. I have many fond memories of sitting around the shabbas table with Dad, and Brian and just joking around. All three of us have a very unique and often, for lack of a better word, sick sense of humour. That really made me feel like I was a part of something. I have gotten used to making the occassional bad joke and getting no reaction from people around me, but not from Brian, he found whatever i said to be absolutely hilarious, he and dad got me, they understand my twisted mind like no one else in the world. Its great when you can see parts of yourself in your family, it makes me feel like I finally understand who I am and where I come from. Brian often managed to surprise me. When I was 17 a co-worker of mine saw my name tag that read, "A. Waldman", he approached me and asked if my name was Adam. "A pleasure to meet you" he said, "I am a friend of your uncle Brians". At the time I had not really spoken with uncle Brian in months but his friend seemed to know everything about me. I learnt that Brian had much more pride in his family than he ever let on. I honestly believe that he loved his brother and sisters children as if they were his own. I have no doubts about that. I always wanted to spend more time with uncle Brian, and share an extra few jokes with him and Dad, but now I am just truly thankful for the laughs that we did have. I just know that he is on a golf course somewhere, where the weather is always perfect. It pains me that I cannot be with my family today like you wouldn't believe, please know that my heart goes out to each and everyone of you. Please each one of you give Bubs a big hug and a kiss from me; as I was telling her yesterday no matter what hand g-d deals you, in the end bread will still be bread, and cheese will still be cheese.

There will be no offensive comment of the day today.

I'll Pay to Sin

2006-03-06T01:14:00.000-05:00

What if a parking fine was cheap? What if you could park in a hospital zone for four dollars? Would you? What if it was just a busy street with a no standing sign. Would you park there if the fine was only $1? What if there was no fine?

It recently has occured to me that often fines encourage bad behaviour. If you park in a no standing area, say on bloor st. during rush hour, there must be a guilty feeling associated with this. If you get out of your car you know you are being a prick, you are going to cause unwanted traffic, people will be late for their (I dunno what do people do now...) bridge nights and it is all your fault. There is a moral obligation not to do this. Once you institute a fine, then the financial penalty makes you feel like to have paid to park there. It is a price you can pay in order to be indecent. If you read Freakenomics you will find a chapter in there that gives empirical evidence on this similar topic.

Any way I am in Australia and have much more fun things to do than this. So ciao!
OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you smell like swass

TDA: Call Me in the Car?

2006-02-25T00:19:00.000-05:00

THE DEVILS ADVOCATE

Driving with a Mobile Phone: A Good Thing

According to Conservative MPP John O'Toole people should not speak on the phone and drive at the same time. For the third time now O'Toole is proposing a private legislation bill that will outlaw talking and driving for all of Ontario.

According to the Spew on Paper Post (thestar.ca) O'Toole has been recieving lots of emails supporting his goal of eliminating multi-tasking. Well you know what, Britany Spears gets fan mail, that doesn't mean she has any talent.

I will be shocked if this bill is passed, I am yet to hear any evidence that talking on the phone and driving causes more accidents then lets say: people who drive with the window open. Think about it, how many accidents are probably caused every year because something flew in the window.
What about drinking coffee while driving? This probably causes tones of accidents, and not only is it legal its encouraged by the two cupholders beside the drivers seat of almost every car.

At least talking on the phone is something you can easily do while driving. In fact I'll bet that there are a lot of speeders and frequent lane changers that slow down and drive normally when they are on the phone. So think about how many accidents have been prevented because of cell phones.

Of course the worst is the people who blast their music. Exactly how are you supposed to hear a train comming while blasting your fucking music, write bills about that you fucking O'Toole.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY
courtest of David J. Stein

You just kinda have that special needs looks to you

Selfish People are the Best Listeners

2006-02-09T02:57:00.000-05:00

For the most part when people speak I am not listening, I am very similar to ninety percent of the population because of this. In fact if you sit on a street corner and listen to people's conversations you will quickly realize that they are almost always having two completely seperate conversations.

"Yeah so it looks like I am getting evicted from my apartment because of the constant noise complaints from my neighbours."
-"I went to the greenday concert last week it was really loud, my ears still havent stopped popping"

"I am not even that loud, my neighbours should be kicked out for being fucking losers"

-"It was great Billy Joe pissed on the croud during 'when September ends'"

...and this conversation will just continue this way, with both parties just talking about themselves.

Then again talking about yourself is often the best, if not the only way to show someone that you are listening.

for example "I dont know what to do I got my penis stuck in the toaster?"
Replying with "Well i know when i got my thing stuck in a blender i just hit the 'frappe' button and it slid right out" is a good way to show that you were listening. However in this example it is still better to advise your friend to call the paramedics.

Sometimes its not that easy though. Especially when talking to women 'cause they will ask you questions not really caring what your answer is, just for the sake of speaking about their problems. Yet you are supposed to come up with some type of insightful response (aka agreeing with whatever she was going to do anyways) showing not only that you were listening but that you are truly interested in helping her out with her life shaking crisis. For example "I dont know what to do, this guy likes me but I like this other guy?" Then they just stop talking and suddenly you realize that there is a question mark at the end of that sentence for some reason. What do you do? If you say something like 'uh huh' it sounds like you werent listening, and then they are just going to repeat the statement but add a "so...." at the end making it clear that you are supposed to say something more than just "uh huh". But by saying something more than just 'go on...' you are risking saying something that does not reinforce what she was going to do anyway. (eg. "You should just give up on both of them" is surely not what she is going to do, by saying this you are setting yourself up for a two or three hour argument over why it is better to leader both guys on or something...)

Clearly the best thing to do is just start talking about yourself. "Well when Betty had a crush on me and I really wanted Veronica, I just fooled around with Betty a lot to make Veronica jealous"

This way it sounds like you're a great listener, and you get to speak about your favourite topic: yourself!

I'm Adam Waldman
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

Shut up bitch or I'll send you up Canal St. without a C

The Queens on My $$$ so I hate French People

2006-02-04T05:55:00.000-05:00

On my recent travels, I have come across other people from Canada, some from the UK and many from Australia, and it seems that we all have three things in common, we all define ourselves primarily as "not American" (as opposed to Canadian, British, or Aussie), we all have a picture of the queen on some of our currency, and most importantly we all seem to dislike the french.

Now in Canada we have an obvious beef against the French, I would get into it but that would be an entirely different entry so I will just stop right here (oh sorry I mean I will just "arrette" right here).

The British dont like the french because of their close geographical position to France, and the war over whose better that they seem to be consistently winning.

But the Aussies, well I have some more research to do to figure that one out (I think France used to call Australia mean names when they were highschool, but I am not sure)

Thus there you have it fellow Canadians, you can go anywhere you want in the world and you can always get a stong feeling of home hearing some guy making fun of the frogs.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and Im overe here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

it is my penis that commands you

Feel The Febreeze

2006-01-16T17:21:00.000-05:00

First thing: I am going to say what we all are thinking, doing laundry is for losers, it's true, we do it way more often then we ought to, just on the premises that once you wear something: it then becomes dirty. This entire philosophy can only even possibly true, if you operate under the assumption that you are dirty and thus everything that you wear you make dirty too. Either that or you are the source of the dirt in fact you are dirt, which is why anything that comes in contact with you, needs to be washed relatively soon. SOLUTION: solve the problem at its root, rather than always cleaning the clothes try always cleaning yourself. If you keep yourself clean then you wont get your clothes dirty and then you don't have to wash them. This is a great solution for three reasons 1. I am hoping that you were planning on showering anyway; thus there is no extra effort really needed (just that you actually clean yourself while you are in the shower instead of doing that gross thing that you do sometimes in there... you know what I am talking about....Sam....) 2. For simple problems that are normally solved via laundry, such as (smells that develop from normal wear: like smoke, and new car smell (most likely if you work at a car dealership going on test drives all day). And things like wrinkles from not folding (which really, who has the time for that). Both of these problems can be solved with about twenty sprays of febreeze (gods greatest gift to man) 3. There is no three, I just thought that saying that this is great for two reasons would be dumb.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

WARNING: VOTING LIBERAL CAN LEAD TO POVERTY AND CORRUPTION AND THUS CAN BE CONSIDERED A MUCH WORSE DECISION THAN DRINKING AND DRIVING

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

The Church of Christian Science makes more sense to me than you do

Australia Has Good Movies So I'm Going There

2006-01-13T21:54:00.000-05:00

I went to see Wolf Creek last night. I had not herd anything about it until yesterday as I am sure you haven't either. Based on the my lack of knowledge of this films existence, and the quality of all movies that I have seen recently I expected it to suck. Well it didn't! It was good, not amazingly good, but still very good. I enjoyed it more because all I knew going into it is that it is a scary movie made by Australians. Thus I encourage you to go see it, and I will not deprive you of the same fortune by telling you what it is about or anything. Just trust me that it is very well done.

Do you know what happens if you pour caffiene free coke in someones ass? Well I dont, but I am kinda curious, so I was kinda hoping that you could try it and let me know how it goes.

Right now David Stein is singing.... aparently he is still Jenny from the block?

Once again... please don't vote Liberal

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you are like that annoying fly stuck in my room that just wont go away

12 Days Left to Decide Not to Vote Liberal

2006-01-11T11:36:00.000-05:00

I hope that all had the opportunity to watch the televised leadership debates within the past few couple days. I personally due to work was only able to catch the English debate on Monday (thank you time shifting). And once again the winner in my opinion was Gilles Duceppe. By the end of the fifth questioning period on National Identity, I was thinking to myself, I am a different, not better, not worse than the rest of Canada, just different. Maybe I am a Quebecer? But really Quebec is different, but so are the prairies, and so is Alberta, and BC. Every other province in Canada is very different from Ontario and each other. Especially the Territories if you really think about, but we don't tend to acknowledge their existence. It may sounds like I am quite the federalist, but it is really quite the opposite. We should all separate! Quebec has it right, all the provinces should become their own countries, and all will be well. Here are the down sides to this however.

1. If Saskatchewan was a Country and not part of something bigger, I am convinced that even less people would live there.
2. Nova Scotia, PEI, Newfoundland: 3rd world Countries
3. Traveling and/or moving from place to place may become much harder.
4. Think of the Olympic hockey team.

Yet still I am pro separation, because Gilles Deceppe is such a cool guy.
The big loser of the Debate: Paul Martin. That guy just sucks. Often he tried accusing the other parties of using the fact that his party stole over 40mill from me as a political tool to make him look bad. News flash bitch: You are bad!

PM Paul Martin -- "The situation came up, I dealt with it right away, and now it is over with"

One quick question, if it has been dealt with already, why is it that now one is in jail. I fell that someone should definitely be in jail.

Then PMPM made the mistake of calling Conservative leader Stephen Harper a Republican. This is a big reason why people don't like the Conservatives. Cause they are somehow viewed as being too American. By addressing that issues PMPM gave Harper the opportunity to speak to it, with out having to bring it up himself. Stephen Harper is clearly a devoted Canadian. Mr. Martin However is a dictator like crime boss, whom hopefully will eventually get caught and go to prison.

Im Adam Waldman,
and Im over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

no you're American

I Wanna Do Cheetara

2006-01-02T18:10:00.000-05:00

It's a debate that has taken place amongst most groups of friends at one point or another, Who is the hottest cartoon woman? Everyone knows that it is Arielle from the Little Mermaid, so in order to make this interesting we will only look at the ones on the television shows. After all the movie toonies only have to make themselves look good for a few scences, whilst some cartoon characters had too look good for years.

The most common debate is between Marge Simpson and Lois Griffin, from The Simpsons, and Family Guy respectively. A lot has been said on this controversy, and it seems that Marge may have a little bit more in the 'natural beauty' department, the award has to go to Lois, due to the fact that a) she has a personality, b) she is rich, and c) the boobs. I mean for god's sake even the dog is in love with her.

But who is the hottest of them all? It's hard to say, thus I have narrowed it down to three, and you can let me know who your vote goes out to.

CONTESTANT ONE: LOIS GRIFFIN (the Family Guy)

Lois has a lot going for her, despite her beak (i mean nose), she is always featured in tight jeans, when she is not dressed to impress. She digs exciting men, no matter how fat they are. She is awesome when she is drunk, and is completely willing to get down and dirty with pets. Not to mention she's done KISS!

CONTESTANT TWO: ROGUE (X men)

The first thing to Rogues benefit is that she flies. I meant really, just think of the positions you could do with a girl that flies. There is a down side though, she is kinda a mutant, but in a good way I think. If you can be a mutant in a good way that is. Also, lets not for get the slutty lil outfits and the streak in the hair. She is like a slutty outfit streak in hair hotty. I would get all up in that.

CONTESTANT THREE: CHEETARA (Thundercats....HOOOO!)

In my opinion Cheetara is by far the hottest. I mean really check out that body, especially for a Cat. Honestly I will tell you I am much more of a dog person, but with abs like that I just want to purr with her all night long. Other advantages include that staff that she always has with her... always nice to have a staff around. Also she has superspeed so needless to say she will be going to bed without an orgasm.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFESNSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

You are wasting my oxygen

The Producers Rocked and Kong still blows

2006-01-01T23:55:00.000-05:00

I recently had the pleasure of seeing The Producers, and I must say it is the best Mel Brooks feature I have seen since Spaceballs. I admit that I am a virgin to both the original movie and the broadway performance, but as far as modern day musicals go The Producers definitely takes the cake (sorry Rent). Matthew Brodwick's role of the straight man is played masterfully and I must say that it is the first time I have seen him in anything and didn't think of him as Ferris Bueller. My sister feels that the film is a tad inappropriate due to some jokes aimed at Adolf Hitler and such. Although the Holocaust is a very sensitive topic for me as well, I felt that the movie was very light hearted and did not in any way push the line. As well I like the idea of a small child watching this movie and asking his or her parents who Hitler is? This leads to people talking about world war two and the Holocaust, and the more people talk about it, the lesser chance of it happening again. On a side note, it seems that many people are raving about how great King Kong was. You people are crazy. There definitely is 120 mins of good movie in there, but the other million minutes of crap make it amazingly not worth. And just out of curiosity what happened to the notion of an intermission, I feel that makers of this film were paid a nice sum from the Society of Chiropractors to keeps us in uncomfortable movie theatre seats for four straight hours.

On a completely different note, I could not help but notice that Global ad right now claiming that Global is the place to hear all you need to know to make an informed decision in this coming up election. At the end of this ad you will notice that there is a logo in the background that looks almost identical to the Liberal parties logo. Please feel free to check this out for yourself and let me know if I am imagining things. If I am not however, I hope some people are at least a little appalled by this.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY
courtesy of Shlam Waldman

You're the Reej that makes me hate might life

TDA: The Beer and Popcorn Question

2005-12-29T18:55:00.000-05:00

THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE

The Beer and Popcorn Question

Of course the title of this post comes from the liberal comment that we should not give subsidies to single parents because they could spend it on beer and popcorn. As much as it seems to be scrutinized in the press, it also seems that many-a-canadian agree with this line of thinking.
To be honest it makes me sick. There are certain circumstances that I understand controlled spending, for example when you give a homeless guy a sandwhich as opposed to some money (that you think he will spend on crack). Its seems that we are ok with allowing authorities to spend our money for us... you know... so we dont waste it ourselves. My biggest fear is if the Liberal government finds out that we are ok with this, before you know it, we will be taxed at 100% and then given an allowance for the things we really need...you know... like bad health care, wine, fur hats, and hockey games. I am sure that this some how differs from communism, so feel free to enlighten me.
In my opinion we have no right to tell a person how they should spend their money. I feel that a single mother ought to get a subsidy for day care expenses. Thus if a woman is a) single and b) has a child and c) white (just kidding) then she is entitled to this subsidy. I am not going to tell her which day care she has to go too. In fact, if she wants she can put that money towards paying for a live in nanny, all power to her. Or if she really wants, she can take care of her child herself and lead and impossible double life, in which case this subsidy is her reward for being mother of the year and employee of the month at the same time, and she can spend it on anything but crack for all I care (on second thought crack is fine too). Government money does not actually belong to those who are elected to represent us, it actually belongs to all of us (i know this comes as a shock) and transferring some of that cash from the "haves" to the "could uses" is a way to ensure equal oppertunities for all canadians, not a method for us to push our values on others because we have the cha ching and they dont.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

"I let the dog baby sit my todler this afternoon; but man doesnt this beer really compliment this popcorn"

Road Rage Need Not Be On Road

2005-12-26T22:12:00.000-05:00

I never understood the notion of road rage; aparently this is another name for people with anger management issues who happen to be driving. At least that is what I used to think, then I tried looking for a parking spot at Yorkdale mall on boxing day. The passengers in my car got to see first hand exactly what road rage is (or should I call it, "looking-for-parking-spot rage"). My hand was almost always on the horn, my window wide open as I shouted obscentities, I was like a New Yorker on crack (aka a New Yorker). I zigged, I zagged I cut people off and didnt bother to break for pedestrians. I just don't understand people who will stop their car in the middle of a parking lane and wait for someone to come and move vacate their spot. In case you didnt notice there are five hundred cars now stuck behind you, asshole. Then eventually my problems were solved as I discovered the magic of the valet service. That was four dollars very well spent.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

SARS aka Yellow Fever

TDA: 14 SEX?

2005-12-20T11:33:00.000-05:00

THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE

a new addition to I'm Over Here Now is a weekly column in which all people will have an open forum to play the devil's advocate with what seems to be or what is common belief of the modern person.

ONE FOUR SEX?

From what I hear through the grapevine apparently early teens are a lot more promiscuous then we used to be (we being the royal we of course). Apparently fourteen year olds, are performing oral sex, having vaginal sex, and in some cases, they may also be ... Doing it up the bum....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

OMG that is soooo gross, oh and the way the girls are dressing, the lil fucking whores I blame Brittany Spears....

This is what I consider to be the common opinion on the fourteen year old sex issue, and I wish to play devils advocate here. What is actually wrong with fourteen year olds having sex? The most common answer that I have received to this question is: "it's gross". That may be, but whether or not something is gross is really subjective, that and I am sure that the lil teenie boppers engaging in this monkey hump time don't see it as gross the same way that you do.
Then there is the issue of whether or not they are mature enough to have sex. What does this mean? How mature do you have to be to have sex?

If by maturity you mean physical maturity, then yes there are always some really late bloomers at fourteen that probably should not be using to goods until they get out of the factory, but for the most part both men and woman are fully capable of doing the deed at 14, in fact throughout our history it was a very normal age for women to have children.

Sometimes when people say that a kid is not mature enough to have sex, they are referring to having safe sex. That is complete bullshit. All one has to do is have a five minute conversation with any 14 year old girl, and some 20 year old woman about using condoms and you will see how wrong you are. When you are fourteen you have had safe sex drilled into you, by the television, by the sex ed. teacher, and hopefully but not necessarily by mom and dad. To a fourteen year old only a loser doesn't use a condom, whilst on the other side of the coin we all no of many twenty somethings that practice unsafe sex on a regular basis. So by that train of thought it should be the lil teenies telling the biggie twenties that they are not mature enough to take it in the fish trap.

What about the fact that they could not support a child? Well what about the fact that you cant support a child, should you really only be allowed to have sex if you are prepared to have a child. Even if you answer yes to that question you are being dramatically impractical and thus never think again.
But its hard for them to get the pill? Who's fault is that, theirs or ours!

The last argument is that they are not mature enough to deal with the emotional after math of sex. I agree that there is an emotional aftermath with sex. And very often someone gets hurt, and they cry, and then they stop crying, and then they go on with the rest of their lives. I don't see exactly which step early teens are incapable of.

Thus its time that we face the fact: Younger generations are more sexually liberated than our generation was and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I'm Adam Waldman
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY
courtesy of THE CONOR

I would kiss you but it would be a waste of my spit...you gay

King Crap

2005-12-14T21:20:00.000-05:00

I am tired... very tired... and currently at work, writing a blog post while a student writes a practice exam. Why am I so tired? Because of fucking Peter Jackson. After the lord of the rings I liked you, you were a creative fat man. But then you decided to remake the LOTR all in one movie, and call it King Kong, only rather than goblins, and trolls and elves and people. There were apes, and dinosaurs, aliens and people. I hate you! I decided to see a midnight sneak preview of the remake of King Kong, and I had a little bit of a problem with it... it wasn't that it was too long, or that it was bad... it's more that it was way too long, and absolute shit.

Well to be honest the first seventy minutes (you know before the surprise dinosaurs) were actually really good. Except for the side plot of a young boy named Jimmy and his friend/father figure. These characters were not introduced to the audience in any way, the just decided to jump in with a side plot at some point. You see the boy came from somewhere... we don't know where, and the first mate/token black guy who is always sweating for some reason and always seems to be worried about the bastard boy for some reason. Then the ape finally appears... but wait... its not an ape... it's ....

and all of a sudden there are a shitload of dinosaurs everywhere. Then an ape wrestles some dinosaurs for about twelve HUNDRED HOURS.. then there are five hundred loves scenes between a girl and a giant monkey, so they do what every couple likes to do: go skating at times square.. then of course she is about to die.. .but the ape saves her... then she is about do die again... but the ape saves her... then there was the other time she was about to die but you know... he saves her.... So I guess your wondering what ends up happening with the young boy and his prespiring black father... yeah me too.

I beg you all, ignore all good reviews, the cinimatography was not masteraful, there wasn't non stop action, and this is not a 'must see'. Save yourself ten bucks, four hours, and your virgin soul and do not see King Kong.

So ... Overall I'd say it was ... so so... you know ... meh.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and Im over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

your mediocre peasant clothing is a bleeding example of how average you are

Sick=Cool

2005-12-11T13:46:00.000-05:00

"Coo? Do kids still use that word....'cool'?"
-Marge Simpson

What does it mean to be cool? To be trendy, with the times, not uncool, or maybe just if you have nice sunglasses. The term cool originated in the early eighteenth century when people from Florida first discovered ice. It was the most awesome thing every, thus anything else cold must be equally awesome. Soon thereafter Florida experience a winters day bellow freezing, and did not think much of it at all. Thus they decided that it was better to be cool as opposed to flat out cold.

Many Synonyms for cool have developed over the years and despite popular belief all of them have been very good synonym's. In the eighties, the 'cool' thing to do was stay up past your bed time. This is how the word 'bad' became a Synonym for cool. Around the time where the first generation of baby boomers (the ones from after the great war) were getting older, you weren't totally awesome unless you had a good hip. Thus we got the term Hip.

But what about the phrase, "that is sick"? Does sick mean 'cool' too? Well obviously it does, and I can tell you why. The cool thing nowadays is to be popular and have lots of friends. Those who spend a lot of time in social environments tend to get ill more often than those who have "no life". Thus it is cool to get sick a lot, thus cool things are 'sick'.

If you want to know what's in you all you have to do is listen for the latest synonym for 'cool'. The cool term of 2005 was "dirty". I once heard a seventeen year old refer to free C2 in frosh kits as "dirty". I am perplexed as to why being unclean is the cool thing to do, and I wish to change this. So in my trend setting ways, I will attempt to use phrases such as "Dude this video game is squeaky clean" or maybe "that is so bathed" or just refer to all of the 'cool' people I know as ' germ free' ... you know what ever catches on.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

You are a synonym for odor

Maintaining Positive Exam-Morale and Masturbation

2005-12-07T11:26:00.000-05:00

It's not easy being a student. Sure you don't work as hard as anyone else does, and all the work you do do is pretty much focused around two months out of the year, but still those are a very stressful two months. After work when I go out to a bar, I can just relax. But when I was a student any moment when I was not studying I always had thoughts of all the work that I SHOULD be doing in the back of my head. But just because I worried a lot about school did not lead to me doing well in school. In fact when you go to the University of Toronto stress is never helpful. If you stress too much you will do worse, I guarantee it. The secret is to not wig out while you study. If you are in a panic for the first hour of your studying, you will find that you are trying to learn the entire course at once, reviewing all chapters at the same time, flipping through pages like crazy, and before you know it, you have gotten nowhere. This is when you should masturbate. Do it, just stick your hand down your pants and go nuts.

Masturbation is essential to successful studying. For two very good reasons.

1. There is no better stress release than an orgasm. When you feel like the anxiety is getting to you, just jerk off. By the time you are done you will feel like a million bucks, relaxed and ready to learn. And if you really think about it, can you think of a better way to spend a study break?

2. Procrastination is always directly related to being horny. For example for your average straight male, he goes to a bar to seek out women, he goes to a club so women will seek him out, even when he goes to a library he finds a seat closest to the best looking woman and spends his time devising a plan so that he can speak with her. Well maybe this description is a little over exaggerated (which it totally isn't), but still proves my point. If we masturbate enough all our motives for procrastination will be completely eliminated. Thus we can focus better and for longer at the task at hand, whilst in a state of calm.

Thus I purpose that every library be equipped with small rooms that have nice beds, porn, lube, and a sock, that way you don't even have to go home to do it.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

Your annoyance is a social disease. Just shut up before I hate fuck your mother

(or Paul Bretscher)

CAPS LOCK IS NOT A TOY!

2005-11-29T15:11:00.000-05:00

As we approach an age of boosted technology and growing annoyance of our fellow man, communication has changed its form considerably. It was only about ten years ago when it would not be uncommon for someone to stop by your home, and just knock or the door "Just to say hello!". No warning nothing. But now, since they have a cell phone they can call and let you know they are in the neighbourhood, and with the invention of the mobile phone, comes the magnificance of call display, which leads to the silence ringer button. On many phones this is called the ignore button, and that is exactly what we are doing when we use it.

It has gone further than just the mobile era however; now we can just speak to eachother online, where no button is required to not answer eachother. Here is the problem with this however, when we don't decide to not ignore eachother, we now have to rely on our spelling and grammer in order to communicate. Sure normally if you spell a word wrong your message will still be conveyed; but what about all the annoying people who don't fucking look at what you are writing when you are typing.

Adam: Hey dude wassup?

Dude: Not muych youjn see if am in the midwssle of hadving a phasld;r

Does this look familiar.

Also when we talk on the phone or in person tone conveys about ninety percent of what we are communicating. Thus the need to at least somewhat use our grammer, punctuation, and text effects properly so that we are not misunderstood.

For example, have you ever noticed that the word "bye" is kind of rude. When you depart from someone do you ever just say "bye" unless you are pissed off; it comes across as cold and abrupt. Therefore when ending a conversation please avoid using the term "bye" on its own, accompany it with a preceeding "good" or use an exit phrase such as "see you later" or "gotta run, talk to you soon". Whatever you do please don't put an exclamation mark at the end of your buy. Read this allowed: bye!... it doesn't sound very nice does it.

Last but and totally least, I hate people who always have their Caps Lock on. Why are you yelling, RELAX!

You can read through this site to understand how absolutely horrible my grammer and spelling are (or is?), and to be honest I am in no rush to better myself in this fashion as long as I can express my thoughts clearly and with my desired tone. Thus I have commissioned an English Tutor named Jon Whitzman to write a piece for I'm Over Here Now, on the do's and do not's of chatting online. Until then, just turn the caps off.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

Do priests molest boys cause Jesus was Gay?

Making Fun of Retards: apparently Back in Style

2005-11-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

Apparental making fun of the mentally challenged is once again the socially acceptable thing to do. In the upcoming Johnny Knoxville film, "The Ringer", Knoxville plays a man who pretends to have downsyndrome so that he can rig the special Olympics. As anyone who has read through this site can verify, I love inappropriate things and that very much includes offensive retard comments, but honestly they are really only good for one liners like, "Hey dude, wouldn't it be great if I pretended to be a tardo, and competed in the special Olympics" and such. But to produce an entire movie on the concept, I am not sure whether I should laugh or cry. My friend Sheera, for personal reasons, hates it when people use the word retard. I sincerely hope she doesn't come in any kinda contact with this movie, she may blow. The fact is there are millions of Sheera's in the world and very few people who find Johnny Knoxville funny by comparison. Thus this movie only should have been made if Adam Sandler played the lead; then it would be ok.

Thus I will do what millions of others will do, I will protest this film by eventually going to it, and not letting myself laugh too hard at all of the hilarious retard jokes.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY
courtesy of a grade 10 student

retarded, handicapped what's the difference, they are all retarded anyway

Maybe if I yell at you?

2005-11-16T12:07:00.000-05:00

I would like a Big Mac combo, supersize everything and coke to drink please!

Meeza suby nozza speece so good

BIG MAC COMBO, SUPERSIZE EVERYTHING AND COKE TO DRINK.

Why do we yell at people who don't speak english. They are not deaf. It is good that we speak slower, that is probably very helpful to someone just picking up the language, but why must our volume increase. Is it really because we have no patience at all for foreigners, and thus we find the need to yell at them. I honestly dont think that is it. I have seen the kindest most patient person fucking screaming at someone from the phillipines because she didnt understand what brand of cigarettes she was asking for. If you really think about it, it is definately not ok to yell at strangers, but it is ok if they dont speak english aparently.

Think about it from their point of view: Every time they admit to not understanding what someone said they get yelled at! And you wonder why your order at tim hortons is never right.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

If you ran in an election, Jack Layton would beat you

A New Hero

2005-11-13T21:57:00.000-05:00

I witnessed the most amazing thing that I have ever seen or heard last night. I was watching a CIS womens basketball game on tv. Channel 64, U of T against Western. The commentators were pretty good for an amature sports game. They even seemed to have prior existing knowledge about these woman and their backgrouds. Then it happened. A large black centre scored on a lay up.. and this is what I heared the announcers say:

Womans Voice: Shirley Jones (not real name) is difficult to contain in the post, she is six foot two and very strong

Man's voice: yeah, I wouldnt want to have dinner with her...

DEAD SILENCE FOR ABOUT FORTY SECONDS

Man's voice: Cause you know if you ordered two steaks she would eat both of them.

Can I tell you how happy this made me. There are lots of opinions about players that good colour men should point out, but why oh why would you mention weather or not you would dine with said athlete. Then to try to cover it up with a fat joke, wow, that guy is so never going to make it.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

If you invited me over for dinner, I would come, but would not RSVP then I would over eat!

We Still Remeber

2005-11-11T11:43:00.000-05:00

I start to write this entry at 11:15, hoping that just moments ago everyone remembered to take a moment of silence to remember those who gave theirs lives for our freedom. Remembrance day is a day where we are supposed to honour and remember those who gave their lives in the great war. And to a lot of people that is what it is. To me it is a lot more though. I recall in grade nine on remebrance day there was an assembly, where I listened to three Holocaust survivours tell their stories of escape from Poland or Germany. This has nothing to do with World War One, but there is still a theme here. We chose not only to remember those who gave their lives to a good cause, but also those who lost their live for no cause. We must remember so we don't forget.

On Nov. 11, 1991 my maternal grandmother passed away. Thus I must admit that every Remebrance day my mind selfishly drifts from the thoughts of millions losing their lives in the two world wars but onto my grandmother and two grandfathers that are no longer with me. I guess that my grandparents were just destined to be remembered today. Both of my mothers parents were halocaust survivours thus either way they would have been a focus of attention on this day. But they are very lucky, they are remembered as a face, a warmth, and a name, while millions are just remembered as one of millions. My grandfather had a life in Poland, he had a job, a wife, six brothers and sisters, and two sons. Only one brother survived. Now that my grandparents are gone, who is left to mourn those deaths. There is no one left on this planet who knew those people, this disturbs me to no end. I have made it my goal to try to find out at least something about my grandfathers first family, and so far I have very little but a very good start. I have three names, of two brothers and one of his sisters. On this day I will always remember my grandparents Hershel and Rouge Silverberg, and Al Waldman, but I wish I could also remember Riven Zylberberg, Moskl Zylberberg, and Blemah Zylberberg all killed for being the wrong religion in the wrong place at the wrong time. These people are my family it is thus my responsibility to learn as much as I can about them, speak as much as I can about them, name my children after them, and most importantly let ever Remembrance day remind me not to ever let myself forget them.

I'm Adam Waldman
and I'm overe here now

there will be no offensive comment of the day

You call that Politics

2005-11-09T16:36:00.000-05:00

Maybe I am not remembering things the way they really happen (which is all too common for me) but I am pretty sure that I can recall a time when the Canada's (at the time) five, official parties would debate important issues to Canadians. Things like Quebec's seperation, private vrs. public health care, affermative action, and I dunno...taxes maybe!
Well things are a lot more circus like now in the eye of the house of commons just within the past two days. First of all aparently Paul Martin is attempting to put forward a reasonable buget on Dec. 8th, I admitt that I have not gone over this pruposed budget and just assume it is reasonable because Jack Layton does not. Thus according to Layton, now that this budget is not exactly how he would like it, the government no longer has his confidence, thus the threat of a december election. We all understand the tactics that are being used here, the NDP is using the Liberals weak government to force an left swinging budget. The fact that Martin sold his soul to the devil the first time this came up is one matter, I really hope that he does not do it again. Either way, his budget does not change why this country has no confidence in its government, it is because these Liberals have shown us that they lie, and cheat. It's weird that no one finds it disturbing that the NDP is willing to accept this as long as a few million gets put into the wrong area's of health carel.

Second scandal recently was Stephen Harpers joke about not being able to get a poppie to stay on his suit. AHHHH!!!! not a sense of humour. Some canadians are against people making jokes, and this ought to be taken into consideration.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you smell worse than my breath in the morning

Viva Bus Review

2005-11-07T15:20:00.000-05:00

Viva is a brand new transit company competing with York Region Transit, and Go for the North of the GTA market. Busing people around Thornhill, Richmond Hill and Markham has to be a hard job, given that the population is entirely dependent on cars. If this is going to change, then something radical will have to happen, and I think Viva may be the solution I am reffering too. The Suburban streets such as Yonge and Bathurst are packed all times of the day, not just rush hour, and recently during a rush I had the oppertunity to take the Viva up Yonge from Clark to Finch Station. I sat at the back of the bus on a big comfy seet with a table in front of it. What a novel idea, coffee tables on buses. I had a convient place to lay down my bag, and do a cross word. Ideal for using laptops, Viva has the intention to stock all of their buses with wireless internet too, ideal for the business comuter. They are also pondering the ideas of including radios, tv's, and small vending machines. I honestly believe that Viva is not just wasting money, but giving these areas exactly what they need: pulic transit that people prefer to driving. In my opinion all they need to do is add a smoking section, sun roof, and some free porn and I will never travel any other way.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and Viva Bus got me here

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

may all of your farts be gross wet ones

Coming Soon!

2005-11-06T11:18:00.000-05:00

Sorry that I have not had time to write this past week. If you for some reason you like my blog, or more likely hate my blog, or possibly you check in on it to see if there is anything you can sue me for this week, then here are som things you can look forward too in the next week.

Masturbation: the key to a successful scholar: an in depth look at the role whacking plays in university life

Viva Bus Review: a review on the new Viva line buses. What are these buses and where are they going?

Maybe if I yell at you?: A think piece on the way Canadians treat recent immigrants.

We Remember: A salute to remembrance day. (this will in no way be funny)

I'm Adam Waldman
and "you America, fffffawk you"

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

(said by a girl too a guy) "Wow you're ugly! You'd better be huge"

Your Digital Self

2005-11-03T23:17:00.000-05:00

The need to leave home is diminishing by the minute, as more and more becomes available on the internet it's getting easier to picture a world where all you need in terms of clothes is five or six nice sets of pajamas. And it seems that way too many people are complaining about this. Many of these people are even in their twenties and they already sound like senior citizens in the way they shun the behaviours of the younger generations. "Look at the skimpy little clothes that the girls are wearing now!" or "The kids never go outside anymore all they need is on the computer!" The truth is that it was not that long ago when people were looking down on my generation because boys were getting earrings and we watch television instead of reading books. This is the way of life I guess, every generation seems to believe that they live in height of civilization and the acts of younger generations are ridiculous. Well it is evolution, and its seems like we are moving in the direction of people waking up in the morning logging in to their online business', ordering food over the internet, playing NHL 2006 for PS2 rather than putting on a pair of skates, then spending an hour on Orkut meeting singles their own age rather than going out to a bar. And honestly who am I to judge, I would rather play hockey than play video games, and I would rather read a book than watch television too, but that does not mean that everyone else ought to be like me.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you would be so hot if you lost somewhere between a little and a lot of weight

Aki Berg?

2005-10-29T21:12:00.000-04:00

Can someone explain Aki Berg to me? If he had any other job and was that bad at it I would just figure that he is related to the boss or something. But as a defenceman for hockeys biggest city, it just doesnt make sense. Do you know how many good young hockey players there are, whom grew up dreaming of a chance to play for the Toronto Maple Leafs. There is probably a dozen good ones in the NHL right now who would love the chance to wear the blue and white. But instead of them we have AKI BERG. He can't hit, shoot, pass, clear a puck, or even skate for that matter... in other words he can't play hockey. Hockey was probably a very poor career choice for Mr. Berg, but somehow coach Pat Quinn (who for some reason saw many flaws in Steve Thomas) doesn't see anything wrong with Aki Berg. (Charles blows goats) Oh and Wade Belak sucks too! FUCKING AKI BERG!#$*@

I'm Adam Waldman,
and Stay Classy San Diego

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you should just die in traffic

We are All, Sick Twisted Motherfuckers

2005-10-27T13:08:00.000-04:00

We like to watch people get hurt! Please, just take a second to marvel at the immense amount of truth is that statement. Its not just that we like to see people get hurt, we especially love to see people hurting other people. Just look at sports, there is nothing better than a good fight in hockey, or a slash to the head, or what not. Maybe we say we dont like these things, but when they happen, no one decides to take that second to go and get a refreshment. Even Baseball, every fan loves watching pitchers intentionally bean a batter, and the insuing bench clearing brawl on the pitchers mound, we dont want to miss a second of that. Look at football, lots of people hitting other people: America's most watched sport! If you doubt that people are watching these things, just to see some people getting hurt, than I have two words for you: NASCAR racing: there is no way anyone watches that boring shit for anything other than the crashes (which are really great i might add).

So what is wrong with us, why do we love to see people beating on eachother. Is it human nature? (Charles Trapunski is a lesser person than all others) Can we not control ourselves? Can we not stop ourselves from watching WWE, then trying some of the moves out for ourselves at home. The answer is no! We cant stop ourselves, because it is our nature. But what is wrong with that. So we love to see some man on man violence every now and then. So we all secretly wish that we had our own secret little fight clubs in our basements, where we could go and really kick some ass. And maybe just maybe there isnt so much wrong with that after all. This above all, to thine own self be true.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm Still Here

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

If you were a woman I'd still hit you

Feel vs. Think

2005-10-20T12:37:00.000-04:00

Logic! We have been blessed with the ability for rational thought, and it is really quite a shame that some of us refuse to use it on a regular basis. But still to that effect, it is important for some of us, like myself, to realize that people are not just made up of rational thoughts, but of emotions too. In fact often our goals in rationale are to promote happiness. Well happiness is an emotion, so why is it that we/I are so quick to dismiss our emotion based responses. I guess it is because, we all have different emotional responses to different situations, but we can all reason the same. And despite the fact that I often consider emotional based people to be somehow juvenile and less of a real person than I, they may be the smartest of all of us. An emotional response is in some ways just a reaction from our unconscious minds, and I believe the unconscious is probably has much more wit to it than our conscious minds. Thus why not just "go with our guts" more often, its probably right. Instinct is an emotional response, and there are many things that instinct can do, that is much harder to work out in your head. For example, people often have crushes on other people, they spend a significant amount of time trying to deduce how that person feels about them, however 90% of the time, your instincts will feed you the right information, and you already know how your crush feels about you. Then again we don't always want to know how others feel about us, so just as much as you should listen to your instincts, the greater challenger is learning not too.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm still here

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

(said while pointing) I am pretty sure that you should not have so much hair there ...you remind me of Stalin

Don't Censor Me

2005-10-13T14:15:00.000-04:00

Charles' mom read my blog. It's true, charles told me about it yesterday. She was very offended by it, I am not sure whether that is because of the negative review of her colum, in the entry titled, I am so over Charles' Mom, or the insuation in it, that I have engaged her in a lovely game of sexual intercourse. As far as the latter goes, I understand the complications this can cause, especially in a marriage, thus I have added a disclaimer to the entry making it quite clear that I have not ever had sexual relations or "donkey plow time" with Chas Traps' mom. As for the rest of the entry, I will leave every word (spelling and grammer mistakes included) untouched. I have not, and will not ever allow myself to be bullied into censorship, even if the "toronto star lawyers" are after me. This is my blog, and I decide what gets written, and you dont have to read it.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

In light of Yom Kippur, I apologize to anyone who has been offended by this blog in the past. (I really do mean that)

ps. go fuck yourslef

Ahh Ebay

2005-10-12T17:38:00.000-04:00

Until today I had never really been on Ebay. I knew of it, understood its point, but always figured its filled with a bunch of broken junk. Then today happened. I was at McDonalds for lunch (this is a rare occurence, so stop picturing me as a fat guy), and on my cup were two properties for the McDonalds Monopoly game. One of which was Park Place. Apparently Park Place in combination with Boardwalk wins you a million dollars. Well I have no intention of eating at McDonalds again in the next month (though i probably will), so I thought, maybe I will try to sell my Park Place on Ebay and see if I can get a nice sum out of it. After looking at the rules and regulations it turns out that I need to get the Boardwalk that was distributed in Toronto; so that would be useless, but I was still very impressed with Ebay. Its like the market place of the future. In fact I would call it an economists dream. Ebay is the ultimate free market with perfect competition. Everyone is price taking, and there is complete perfect information. It is brilliant. Like most people I used to think that people who sold shit on Ebay for a living were mostly with some kind of handicap while really it is no different then selling something at in any other market. I suspect that there will be more ebays in the future and that eventually we will dawn on an age where everything is sold on ebay, and the shipping companies will make more than microsoft.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm overe here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

Shut up or I'll turn you over to the centre for decease control

The Curse of Doug Gilmour

2005-10-11T23:18:00.000-04:00

I doubt that there is another city in the world as devoted to their hockey as Toronto is. The Leafs have everything, the nice arena, the big ticket sales, the merchandising, the big names, and the high hopes. But what they dont have is a stanley cup since 1967. Not for lack of trying though, especially within the last ten years, the leafs have been consistently competitive. Twice we have finished within the top three best regular season records. Every year we are in the playoffs, and most of them, we have made it to at least the second round. But something always seems to go wrong. This started in '93 the last time we really came close to being in the finals, but Wayne Gretzky and his LA Kings wouldnt allow a leaf vrs. hab final. Since then, there always seems to be an injury to a key player, an disasterous penalty either taken or not called, stupid hits resulting in badly timed suspensions. Why? Why us? I will tell you why: We traded Doug Gilmour. Not just that we traded him, but to New Jersy of all places, and from there he would go to Buffalo, then back to New Jersy. Is it just mere coincidence that after that trade Jersy would knock us out of the playoffs three times, and Buffalo once? Or is that even true? Of course eventually the leafs would get Dougie back, in a post season run that looked to be the best of all of them since '67. But Gilmour would play no more than two shifts before a career ending knee injury.

It took 50 years after Babe Ruths death for Boston to shake off the curse of the Bambino, how long will it take Toronto to shake off the curse of Doug Gilmour.

I'm Adam Waldman,

and I'm overe here now.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you may support animal rights, but I still don't support you having rights

Pssst, I can see your vagina

2005-10-07T11:54:00.000-04:00

Was on the subway today, you know... just sittin', reading a book, minding my business. I look up to see what stop were at, what is that...is that spadina....nope it's BIG HAIRY VAGINA.. why? just why? Why is this hairy person in a short skirt and no underwear sitting with her legs spread wide open in the seat in front of me. Why isn't Kirsten Dunst sitting in with her legs wide open in the seat in front of me. (Why Kirsten you are probably wondering? One word... JUMANJI). I loathe the woman who made my travels oh but so unconfortable today. I wish ill on her, and hope that because of her lack of underwear, she gets a nast infection down there, and is itchy for weeks on end. The human body is truly a beatiful thing, but you know what, in the case of most, there are clothing designers that have made thing for us to wear over our bodies that are even more pleasing to the eye. So Crotch Fatty (That's what I call the woman from the subway) if you are reading this, please, put on some clothes.

On a side note, I would like it if people would make a point to leave comments on blogs, not just mine but all blogs, its makes them more interesting.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm overe here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

it is the scent of crotch fat that surrounds you

Patience is a Virtue: Bull Shit

2005-10-06T23:18:00.000-04:00

Every now and then people make a lot of comments about how fast paced the world has become, especially the american world. "Always looking for the quick fix" they say, or "Its all about instant gratification nowadays!".
Well I am sorry Grandpa, but what the fuck is wrong with doing things efficiently. Its seems to me that the growth of societies and the development of economies seems to be all about improvement. Getting things done better and quicker. That's right quicker, quicker is infact still better than slower. In fact you could say that quickness is a virtue. What is wrong with getting things done quickly? What is wrong with solving large problems in mere seconds. Do important things have to take a long time or something. I know in Canada we are more laid back by comparison, and there are some bonuses to that. There is less "Rush to our lives" and such. But as far as that is concerned, how rushed you feel is relative to what you are used too. A person who spends most of there time at home, only leaves for a few hours a day, and never misses their twelve a o'clock nap, may well look at me and say that I am way too fast paced. In my opinion its called being productive, and I consider that a virtue too. Its true that many a people in contemporary times are looking for the bigger better product, and the quick fix to all of their problems. My question is why isnt everyone? You should always strive for improvement in any fashion of life, yes you should stop to smell the roses once in a while, but dont spend all your time in the flower bed.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm overe here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you fart too much and your mother is ashamed of you

Small Children and Sugar

2005-10-04T11:03:00.000-04:00

Last night was the first night of roshashanah (Jewish newyears). And some of us jews mark this occassion by sitting down with our family for dinner, this event is known as: Roshahanah Dinner. At this dinner it is customary to have a lot of honey, this symbolizes having a sweet new year. By the end of the night the little ones (ages 2-7 and there is five of them) have had eggbread and honey, apples and honey, and I am pretty sure i saw my cousin Cobi putting some honey on his roast beef.

Obviously by the end of the night there is a lot of hyper children, and a few angry parents. I dont get it, why do the parents get so mad. They are kids, they are at a rare stage in life where they can get away with behaving in certain ways which adults cant, why would we want to deprive them of this?
I wish i could drink a bottle of honey and take off my clothes and dance on the dinner table, but I cant, that is not "socially acceptable". But the little ones can get away with it, no one will look poorly on them for doing a naked dinner dance. Thus I say, once a year feed your lil ones a tone of sugar, let them get high on it, and for gods sake when they are wild and hyper, just let it be.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm overe here now.

Ps. Sorry about the week off, you can expect daily posts again now.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

your mother is a convict and you were her crime

Racism is so in

2005-09-27T01:20:00.000-04:00

Rememeber the days when there was this huge social pressure to treat everyone as an equal. I remember feeling privilaged being a white guy, that I felt a social obligation to treat everyone with equal respect. And I still do, but i am not sure that it is the in thing to do anymore. And the reason is that people like me dont feel privilaged to be a white guy anymore.

As I apply for jobs and shit I see more and more websites that advertise how they are a equitable organization, and give priority preference to those of aboriginal, or homosexual identies.
There are two things I would like to complain about with this latest social trend. 1) is that people are discriminating against white people. What the fuck, the goal it to treat people equally, not to just change who we discriminate against, fucking progressive rehabs. The second thing is, that not one of these websites or advertisements gives priority to black people. This shit all started when folks decided that black people should not be slaves anymore. And well I guess it ends there. I believe that in history the two most discriminated against groups have been the blacks and the jews. And well today, it is still ok to discriminate against them. After all they are not really minorities right. I am not arguing that African North Americans, and Jewish people should be given priority treatment, I am just saying if you are going to be all equity-ish and you feel the need to ignore the two most discriminated groups, you are clearly making a statement, that it is and always was ok to discriminate against these people. This is why you are going to hell, you have this attitude that Jews make all this money anyways, and that the blacks are just gonna steal it from them. I mean that must be it, right?

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you make me so mad I want to strap a bomb to my chest and call myself a freedom fighter

What the Fuck is Wrong With Religious People

2005-09-24T15:17:00.000-04:00

Why are religious people so weird. They are so culty and stuff, and they seem dedicated to the belief that their religion is right. To the point that it seems that they will look down upon the other misguided religious people that were shamefully born into the wrong religion. I think people need to believe that there is something about them that makes them better than everyone else. That is probably how different religions developed, people just looking for a reason to say, "hey, I am clearly better than you. Just look at my religion, and they way that we believe in god and worship him better than you do".

It is not unconcievable that god exists, or that he has some rules that he wants us to follow, you know just basic shit, and he may even have magic powers. But what I dont understand, is without actually having spoken to god, why would you assume that it is gods will that you should: say specific prayers to him at certain times, wrap your head up in blankets, have three sets of dishes, not masturbate, give 11.6% of your income to charity, and often blow up people who are disbelievers. What is up with that. To me it just seems silly some of it. Why do people believe such weird things. Maybe it is Pascal's Paradox (I think it is Pascal, feel free to correct me if i am wrong) the idea that, if god doesnt exist, then you look like a fool for a while, no biggie, and if he does exist that its good that you did all those foolish things so you dont spend eternity in hell.

By that logic, shouldnt we follow all religions, just to be safe, but we cant, cause god will get mad at us for not picking the right one. So i guess, you should just go with an educated guess as to which religion you follow. (Go with Scientology, come on do it you wont do it). Also I dont feel that Fascal set up a clear certainty equivilant. You see, if the probabilty of a religion being right is oh about zero, than it still probably makes more sense not to do foolish things.

In the end it is clear that people arent religious because they genuinely believe in god, or whatever. It is like a club or a group to give a sense of belonging. My recomendation: just join a frat or something, probably a lot more fun, and a less diet restrictions.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you smell like a hippo's menstural fluids

Recent Answers to What's Wrong With this Country

2005-09-22T16:45:00.000-04:00

Do you know who Paul Coffin is? He is an ad executive in montreal. He stole over 1.5 million dollars of tax payers money in what is often reffered to as "the sponsorship scandal". What does that mean, sponsorship scandal, the name seems to imply that something scandalous might be going on but we are not sure exactly. But we do know it has something to do with sposorship. Why dont we call a spade a spade and refer to it as the "Liberals robbed us blind and got away with it, incident". Anyway, Paul Coffin plead guilty to 15 counts of fraud. He admits to charging for false services, making up expenses, and falsifiying reports. The crown was pushing for Coffin to get at least four years in prison. Four Years! If I stole 50000 dollars from blockbuster they would lock me up for 25. But i guess its fine to take from the government, it was kinda your money already...right? So what did Coffin get? Two years less a day....of community service (that's right he's not going to jail at all.) And here is the kicker, Coffin wont be picking up trash along highway 11. Nope... Mr. Coffin will be doing lecture series' (paid lecture series') at Quebec Universities on the topic of "Business Ethics". (Its worth noting here, that I am actually not joking, that really is his sentence).

So if you are reading this, and it occurs to you that the Libs have way too much power, and get away with anything, then please i beg you... stop voting for them.

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

your transgendered and that's morally wrong

Girls gone wild? Should they be punished?

2005-09-21T10:19:00.000-04:00

In a recent article in ">Mcleans Magazine Judy Timson reports on Ariel Levy's new book the Female Chavaunist Pig. The article takes the stance that college aged students have reverted back into a position of objectification despite years of femenistic progress. And to be honest, I have seen many a time what these two refer too. Whether it be the crazy girls gone wild movies or the now aparently very common (dont tell the mulock girls they think they invented it) girls grinding and making out with eachother at night clubs. It is all around us.

My question is, why is that not ok? When I see a woman engaging in such activities, i normally assume that it is due to low self esteem and attention seeking. But really is it. Because that is not what they say. In fact I have not really heard a report of someone regretting there actions in one of these situations. Maybe they are just liberated. Maybe, woman want to make out with eachother at tonic. Maybe they have fun doing it. Does it make it wrong because the oppressing man is made happy by it. I dont think so. I dont think mans opinion matters either way. It was only about six years ago, when femenist organanizations fought so very hard to legally walk the streets of Ontario topless. Now that woman can show off their boobs, why do we look down on them for doing so.

I guess it comes down to one question who is it that "oppresses" women? Is it the girl who happily lifts up her shirt for the video camera, or is it the one besider her telling her that "That's not the way a lady should act!"

Think about it, Im Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

do you know what i can use to get your mothers cum stains off my sheets

Stupid, just stupid

2005-09-20T11:11:00.000-04:00

I saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose last night (btw, not so good), and before this movie began on the big screen I was entertained by what seemed to be a tweleve minute music video for the song, you're gonna love me. The music video went through the entire story of Romeo and Juliete (using the race angle, Whites = montigues, Hispanics and Blacks=Capulets). About ten to fifteen times in this lengthy piece of crap video they show, then reshow, a shot of the person singing the song (also representing Juliet) taking Homeo's shirt off, revealing a tatoo that says "Juliet" in a heart. Then this goes on for a little while, and I am thinking what exactly is this, is this a preview for the new Romeo and Juliet Movie coming out (I did notice an ad for that outside the theatre), cause if it is a musical then that has already been done (west side story). Then the song ends. Then it starts again, just repeating the long climax at the end, where the lead vocalist holds each not for about a minute overtop the course that we have already heard a hundred times.

Then finally the song ends, and the reason for this long pointless mini melodrama is revealed on the big screen. Where a guy with a deep voice speaks over an ad, "H and M denim". It is then that I stare at the H&M ad and say. "What the Fuck?"

No really, What the fuck?

I'm Adam Waldman,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

I wish the fate of a natural disaster on you and your loved ones

Stupid peice of shit machine

2005-09-19T12:12:00.000-04:00

According to Adam Smith, technology develops out of the division of labour, which shows growth in a society. Like anything else however, too much is not a good thing.

There is too much technological advances nowadays, we really have to slow down. I dont say this, because I am getting old and miss the days of a "honest days work", whatever the fuck that means, nor do I long for a time, when everyone wasnt so rude with their cell phones, (especially Mark Graham).

Now, I say that tech. is moving too quickly because we are producing at such a rapid rate, no one is taking time to make sure the shit works. AND IT NEVER DOES. When man, or woman, but more likely man (hehehe) invented the wheel, i bet it worked, right away, and rarely broke. Then a bunch of other shit got invented and it all worked, maybe not at first but before it got to the market. Then eddison invented the light bulb. And then the lightbulb went out. And no one, thought to try to fix this problem. Now, nothing works! We have dishwashers, cars, cell phones, air conditioners, and computers in every home. And people make money selling these dishwarshers, cars, cell phones, airconditioners, and computers. But people make even more money in dishwasher, auto, cellular, airconditioning, and cpu repair. This shit is designed to break, and it is not because "that is how they get you" like Mr. Hippie over here would say. Its because, we make shit so quickly and in such great quantity that no one makes them well.

Im Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

no really...you should at least try a diet

Labour Unions Evil

2005-09-18T20:52:00.000-04:00

F rom the smart capatilistic point of view, or that of any logical, rational, thought using person it would be a little to easy to show why labour unions are the bain of our existence. Thus I will prove that they are evil from the enraged hippies point of view.

Imagine that you are a hearthrobbing proggressive hippie, you may want to smoke a "J" to get more into role. Now, imagine a free market for some reason you are already against this, and in this "free market" there are suppliers and consumers. Because you are a gaytarded hippie you believe the suppliers/capitalists/firm owners/profitmaximizing scum to be totally evil cause they take advantage of the lil guy. Who is this lil guy, most likely mini me from the austin powers movies, but i am not really sure. Anyway, what you hate most are the monopoly guys, who sell things for more than they are worth, and not letting anyone else make money too. You also think that every ceo in the world is trying to form cartels with all the other big ceo's in order to crush the lil guy (or mini me). Little to your knowledge there are many laws an protective agencies preventing the formation of illegal monopolistic profits and Cartels.

Now lets look at the labour market. What the brain dead hippie see's first is the same players in the game. The evil firms trying to pay the consumers as little as possible and the innocent consumers who are taken advantage of. In reality though the labour market is quite different. wage is derived like price, at the intersection of labour demand and labour supply. But this time it is joe shmoe who is the supplier, and the firms (evil capitalist pigs) who are the comsumers for labour. Thus say that only one person in the entire world can make a chocolate bar. This person would have a monopoly on the making chocolate bar labour market. And he would be able to charge in such a way that he makes monopolistic profits, and rips off the consumer. So what we do, is we get a group together and to agree to not work for less than a certain amount and strike unless we get it. Is this not the same thing as a cartel.
If all the tire companies were to get together and agree to all sell there tires for 1000 each is this not the same thing, and is this not illegal.

Unions are Labour Cartels, and they rip off society at the expense of small businesses, un educated workers, and in the end consumers of the final product or services. Thus if you just take the joint out of your mouth for one second you may see that over the past five years that it is not microsoft that crushes liberty and equality, it's the ontarios teachers association.

Im Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

you are so gaytarded

Whinnie, Tiger, Bugs: Gay?

2005-09-16T15:45:00.000-04:00

Nowadays cartoon characters are by the millions, almost like the small towners at hannabarbara were urbanized in order to make room for poke mon and kitty. Or maybe it is just that all the loveable character's that we grew up with are all grown up too. If that is the case, then we should do what we always do when we think of people from our youth (like people from highschool): We should discuss which ones turned out to be gay. First of all, just sticking to the Disney Cartoons for the moment, although it did always look like one day Mickey and Goofy woould get it on, the big couple to finally come out of the closet is Whinnie the Pooh and Tiger! Well, congratulations to them, but I really gotta tell you, I am not the least bit surprised. I mean Whinnie just had it written all over his forehead, however, he did seem to always be going after those honey pots. I guess he found a new kinda chocolate honey that he likes much better. On the Warner Side of things, the allusttrious Bugs Bunny or (Effram the retarded rabbit) did go through a bi sexual and, know ones surprise, cross dressing phase. In the end Bugs actually became a priest, he now works very closely with underpriviledged young boys. Personally I always expected Sylvester and Tweety to be the first same sex warner bros. cartoon couple, I guess that just seemed like a happy ending to their often love hate relationship. And actually they are a couple now, just not a same sex couple. It turns out that Tweety is girl, and I dont know why I ever figured otherwise. The Same thing happened when Taz and Road Runner had a brief relationship until Taz discovered that RR is a woman too. Taz now lives happily with Wile E. Cayote off the coast of New Zeland and let me tell you RR is pissed. So now you are up to date, in the homo cartoon world... so...I'm Ellijah Mann, and Im over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

I would be your friend, but you are ugly and not of my race

Ability to express oneslelf dimmished once again by progressive nutjobs

2005-09-14T07:22:00.000-04:00

In a rather interesting conversation with a random person at the sunset grill today, I learnt something new about what is ok and not ok to say. My ex was a camp counsellor over the summer, and at the begging of her tenure there she recieve a piece of paper reminding her not to use phrases like "to man a battle station" or "mankind" or anything like that. At this persons camp they were not allowed to use the term backpack, because it is derogatory (sp?) to homosexual males.

I promise you the person who came up with that rule was not gay, I have never herd of, or met a gay person who would be offeneded at the use of the term backpack as opposed to its politically correct alter ego knapsack. It seems that it is always the straight ones, who make up the ridiculous rules about what you cant say because some gay people might be offended. More than anything else these people have limited our ability to express our meaning when we talk.

Are we even allowed to ever use the terms gay and queer ever again. What word but 'gay' better describes a ten year old girl in a long white cotten skirt skipping over a flower bed whilst eating skittles. And what word but 'queer' better describes a person who has beautiful facial features, lovely hair, a nice upper and lower body, but all them together just dont seem to mesh not to mention a facial expression that doesnt seem to represent any emotion that you've ever felt.

These words had meanings, ones that werent mean, ones that were very specific and precise. But nowadays if I see that girl skipping through the flower bed and say "she looks gay" the straight hippie chick beside will instantly call the PC police, while his/her gay friend replies with "yeah that is pretty gay"

But hey, if people never over reacted on the behalf of no one, then there would be less things to write about in my blog.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

becuase of you I have formed a negative steroetype about your entire race

I am So Over Charles' Mom

2005-09-13T13:18:00.000-04:00

As many fellow UC'ers from back in my day know, I fucked Charles' Mom, it was a long time ago, and everytime I mention it Chas Traps gets pretty upset. (I never actually engaged in any sexual activity with Ellen Roseman aka. Charles' Mom, such comments are made for and only for the humour it has brought to so many immature U of T students)

She is a columnist for the Toronto Star's Biz section under the name of Ellen Roseman. I spent four years reading the garbage in the Toronto Star because it was free on campus. Three or four times a week I would open up the business section hoping to read about oil prices, mergers and aquistions, Conrad Black and Enron and so on and so forth, but you see the star doesnt really have a business section. What they call the Biz section is what any other paper would call the life section. And the star writer representing that which is wrong with this news(toilet)paper is Charles' mom, Ellen Roseman.

All I want to here are the different theories that economists have to explain this summers increase in unemployment, not how RRSP's can make me feel good about myself.

">Link

check out this website for a list of articles Roseman has published recently.

The first thing you will notice are some brilliantly obvious titles such as storms put focus on home insurance and pay visa on time or pay the price.

It is not that Roseman's articles arent interesting or helpful, they are completely helpful, they just dont belong in the business section, in fact i would say they are polluting the business section.

From now on in this blog whenever I refer to the star, rather than calling it the toronto star i will call it the spew on paper post so everyone will just have to remember that.

I am Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

Offensive Comment of the day :

you know every time i hang out with you it puts me off masturbating for at least a month

Dalton McGuinty: Great Leader or Racist Motherfucker

2005-09-12T14:46:00.000-04:00

Without a doubt I believe that the only thing more important that the seperation of church and state is to be more specific and say the seperation of church and court.

First thing to mention here is simple: God doesnt exist, people just made him up, get over it already. Geeze. As written about earlier I aknowledge that I cant prove this, but lets be honest, gods existence is about as likely as a fortune 500 company's head office being located at the northern tip of saskatchewan, ie. not bloody likely.

Thus maybe it is a bold move that McGuinty is making, in moving to rid Ontario of religious based arbitrations, which has been allowed since 1991. Of course this comes up at the same time as the strong muslim push to allow sharian law to be used in arbitration's to settle divorces and other family issues.

McGuinty claims that he was debating for a while now whether or not he should suddenly push to disallow similar preceeding that currently are premitted within Judaism and Christianity, and that this sudden decision has nothing to do with recent demonstrations either for or against a public motion to include Muslims in this alternative as well.

But really the truth is obvious and stems from the fact that Dalton McGuinty is a) a little tiny weenie man, and b) his name is Dalton therefore he is a lil tinny weenie man.

Thus Dalton just doesnt like sharia law. It's different from his religion, and his religion is the right one. Thus its better to scrap the entire religious alternative than include the antiwoman muslims.

In lil D's defence, our morals and values are more directly from judeo-christian values, and not the Koran, so the jews and the goys in following their respective bibles would better reflect what is considered to be values of Canadian law.

Thus Dalton is doing the right thing, and really there is no reason that the jews and christians should have ever been able to settle there divorces with a religious tribunal as opposed to our legal system, but that will soon be remedied. For all the wrong reasons though (McGuinty's wrath to those who are different), but in this case the ends definitely justify the means.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now.

I have not heard anyone elses opinion on this issue so far so I encourage all readers to please comment, if not at least to make it look like people read my blog.
Here's the offensive comment now.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT FOR THE DAY

The Koran has more respect for your mother than I do

Fat Guy from Trin with Small Penis Makes encore Appearance

2005-09-10T12:06:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to University College for making it through a frosh week without me, I am sure it wasnt as fun in the absence of my absolute greatness but from what i hear the naked fat guy at trinit College with the really small penis made another appearance this year.

That is what frosh week is about, the fat guy with the small penis, streaking, despite the fact that he is fat, and has a small penis. Good for him, no shame at all.

I was a frosh exec three times, the most you can be a frosh exec. and I have seen a lot of frosh weeks. And to be honest I think it is going down hill. Alcohol should be a part of frosh week, it is a part of life, a part of college life, so why do we start to keep it out of frosh week. UC has some wet events this year and for that I applaud them, better the frosh drink in a safe environment then in dorm rooms.
It is true that you can have a good time without liquor, and thus this is used as a reason for not having wet frosh weeks. You know what, you can sit without chairs so we should get those out of classrooms. The more avenues provided for people to have a good time, whether it be beer bongs or giant games of naked crisco twister, the more you have the better it will be. So to the anti alcohol people: go away, just because you dont like boozing doesnt make it wrong. In fact it is right! very right! and all the cool people are doing it.

Then there is the legal issue. 1. there are ways around it, start looking for them. 2. Someone really ought to petition the government to lower the drinking age. I dont think it would be that contensious.

Then there are some religious issues with drinking. These people need to wake up and smell the coffee, there is no god, deal with it.

So in conclusion: Did you hear that Kristen Dunst was on queen st. yesterday acting out live scenes from Jumanji.

Im Ellijah Mann,
and Im over here now.

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY
for todays totally great offensive comment, I thank Samantha Heath.

you act like you're autistic, and thats why people dont like you

Andre the king

2005-09-09T13:28:00.000-04:00

Ok, despite my prev. entry about god being just a wizard and such, you probably got the impression that I am closed minded to anything that i dont completely understand.

Well for the most part you are right. But there are somethings i believe that I cant explain.

1. I believe in ghosts, really just becuase i want too.
2. I believe that people get possessed by these ghosts sometimes, but i dont believe that green vomit ever enters the equation
3. I believe that hockey should be publicly run, but now after the latest cba i dont care.
4. I believe in all my x girlfriends, even though some people dont believe they exist.
5. most importantly I believe in a force of concentration of millions, in a shared energy type of system

WHY? Because Andre Agassi beat James Blake in five sets at the US open.

And i believe the only reason this happened was becuase 25 000 people really really really wanted it too. When all else has been eliminated whatever remains however improbable must be true.)

And the only way that Agassi could have pulled that off, was some kinda magic.

Im Ellijah Mann
and im over here now

Insulting comment of the day

"when i hear your voice i squeeze my balls as tight as i can, just for the distraction"

Everything has a Price

2005-09-09T11:43:00.000-04:00

WARNING: This post may be offensive to homeless persons, those close to the living on the streets communinity and left wing hippies that get offended over everything. However it is not intended to offend you. (as opposed to the majority of my other posts that were intended to offend you)

Word.

Being an Economist one of my favorite things to do is measure things that are subjective/unmeasureable. It started with rating girls I liked in grade 8 on a one to ten scale, and now it more often than not comes in the form of utility curves.

We measure value of commodities and services in money terms (often called "prices"). Recently I wished to put a price on more abstract notions, like love and ego and such.

So I set out to measure dignity. How much is someones dignity worth?
My initial expreriment was very enlightening! I asked David (the best bud) how much I would have to pay him, to sit on a busy street corner in Milton, ON dressed as a homeless guy, smeeling like urine. After a long string of negotiations David agreed to do this for eight hours for three thousand dollars. That is some pretty good pay for one days work, and it's also not really work. This is not how I measure David's dignity however. You see, I then asked him how much I would have to pay him to perform the same experiment at bloor and yonge, where he will run into, at least 15 or so people that know him.

After some very long negotiations, I finally got him down to 1.7 mill for eight hours.

Thus 1.697 mill devided by eight is the price of davids dignity per hour.

Now of course this is subjective, and David has an ego larger than a small moon, but still one thing is clear: we are not paying homeless people enough.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

Offensive Comment of the Day:

"you have a smelly soul"

There might be a god, but he's not what you think

2005-09-08T22:52:00.000-04:00

Does G-d exist?

The oldest of philosophical questions perhaps, (aside from just plain old why? on its own) and yet we dont really seem to be even to an answer.

Since I am the smartest guy ever! I will answer it.

Perhaps the problem is that no one really defines "god" well.

What does god mean? Is God Simply the creator? If so then of what? the earth? the galaxy? The universe? simply everything?

Or is God that which controls all things and makes miracles happen and such?
Most commonly I guess, we define god as all of the above.

Now lets try to answer the question, Does God exist?
If we defind god as the creator of everything, then it can go either way.
If by everything you actually mean everything, then no god does not exist.

PROOF:
A is god then for every B, A created B
I am the sole creator of this Post

If the second sentence is true (which it is) then by sentence one, I am god.
But i did not create shoelaces, so i am not god, thus a contradiction thus sentence one can never be true. QED

If you actually mean that God created that which everything else came from, then god with out a doubt does exist.
Everything seems to have come from something, but this cannot go on forever. There eventually has to be something that came from nothing, whatever that thing is, is thus god. (God is most likely a particle, that no longer exists none the less).

If we define god as the guy who makes the miracles happen, then rather than calling him god, lets call him Mr. Wizard. Apparently god is pretty good at magic.
Now a lot of philosophy specialists would respond with "ahh, but can god make a rock so heavy that even he cant lift it?" And I will respond with, "go smoke another joint you fucking tool". No one is saying that god can do anything and is all powerful (this is obviously not true by the rock example), I am just saying that god is magical, and can do things that by our rules of physics and logic arent possible.

So you see God is a great magician, but he does have his limits. In fact The Great God from the Kingdom of Heaven, actually has a lot in common with Gandalf the grey from the Kingdom of Mordor.

It is also possible that Mr. Wizard is the thing that existed first and created a whole bunch of other stuff, like galaxies and shit. But that is not very likely.

So it looks like god is probably just a fictional character.
But if you prefer the side of faith, then rest assured that there is no real proof in logic or otherwise that god does not exist at all (if you define him as the wizard that came from nothing) he is just not a great and all powerful as you probably thought. And seemingly impossible to get in touch with. So keep praying, but it really doesnt look like anyone is listening.

Im Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY

"your existence is proof that not even god is perfect"

What the fuck is up with "the bling"

2005-09-05T19:40:00.000-04:00

I remember a long long time ago in what seems to be a galaxy far far away (Toronto, mid 90's) watching a baseball game, and noticing Barry Bonds has this weird dangly gold earing, it wasn't that big or anything, but when ever i played ball my coach made me take out my peircings, and they were studs.

The Bling is everywhere now, and i think it is stupid. To a certain degree I understand the pop star, or the rapper loaded with jewelry. Its an image, and that is what there biz is about, image.

But on athletes, its not that necessary, but hey express yourself however you want. But what about when they wear the bling while doing their job.

In a second round match at the US open, one of Serena Williams diamond earings fell out and broke on the court. She delayed play in order to pick up each and every diamond. After all the earings were worth about 40,000 american dollars. In the post game interview she was aked if she would be wearing those earings the next match, she relplied with "you gotta have the bling."

It should be noted that Serenas game has gone to shit since she won the austraillian open, but she does have "the bling".

How does $40,000 earings benefit you in a tennis match. I feel that it is not only pointless, but inapropriate. If she were a man I would say that she is compensating for something, and in all earnesty she probably is compensating for something, probably not a pee pee petit though!

It is one thing to make a lot of money and let it corrupt you, but this girl is advertising how corrupted and obbsessed she is with money.

When Serena made her "bling" comment, she was booed by all the fans remaining in Arthur Ashe Stadium: this gives me the impression that the public is not looking highly on her for sporting expensive jewelry, that dangles off of her, and probably provents her from playing as well as possible, but hey, you gotta have the bling.

THE OFFENSIVE COMMENT OF THE DAY IS:

"you look like you could be the poster boy for the pee pee petit"

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now

The Most Offensive Thing to Say

2005-09-04T19:45:00.000-04:00

You know what I think is really funny, people who take shit too seriously. Honestly, without them, my life would be empty. Pretty much every time I laugh out loud it's at their expense. For the most part, I would say I only find something amusing if I know that there is someone else out there that would find the exact same thing offensive.

Of course there is a line, but the line is different for everyone. For me, its just dont make fun of the Holocaust. Absolutely anything else is fair game for the making fun of. And even with the Holocaust I am sure there is a tasteful way make a joke surrounding the holocaust without offending me, however its pretty unlikely.

I am not trying to say, that all offensive things are funny, the comment still has to be tasteful not just rude.

For example, Chris Rock has made some hilarious jokes about black people and theft and shit. He is funny, and to some offensive.

Meawhile if he just walked on stage and said, "Black people are robbers"
I dont think anyone would clap. (BTW, if you are laughing at that, you are going to hell)

Thus this brings me to the point of this entry, which will hopefuly be a reoccuring theme of this blog, until I lose intrest in it.

WHAT IS THE MOST OFFENSIVE THING YOU CAN SAY TO A PERSON?

The first thing that comes to mind has to be calling a person fat. It's simple, always offensive, and I think its hilarious. You should try it, just walk up to a friend of yours and say, "hey, your really fat eh?". Then you can get in a long fight with your friend, and I can laugh a lot.

Here are a few other things that i really like?

Just flat out telling a person that they dont matter. "Hey Dude, you dont matter"

Or how about "You smell like a menstural milkshake"

or "Because of you, I hate your whole race" : I think that is a good one.

But the best one that i have ever heard, and I give a shout out to Ashley Cohen for its creation is this: You spend about ten seconds really examining your friends face, and you say "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you kinda have downs sydrome eyes." -- That one is just so wrong on so many levels, and thus really amusing :)

In line with this fine expose, at the end of each of the following Blogs, I will have a insulting remark of the day, this way my list can continue to grow.

Im Ellijah Mann,
and Im over here now

The secrets in the Compliment Cartels

2005-09-04T19:12:00.000-04:00

In Canada and in the United States there are rules regulations and laws designed to promote perfect competition in business. They are in place to prevent unnatural monopolies, oligopolies and cartels.

But is anyone looking out for the Compiment market Cartels?

A brief explanation:

Products are considered compliments if as demand for one product rises, then demand for the other does too. For example Hamburgers and ketchup.

Cartels are when two companies work together to get higher profits, for example both setting higher than market prices, so they will both make monopolistic profits.

Cartels are illegal, and people are looking out for them, making sure that the car companies dont form cartels, or the cell phone distributors (who obviously do).

But what if they are in different markets, and what if they are in league by changing their products not their prices.

I call this the Compliment Cartel. Or Cartels that create compliments.

AN EXAMPLE: The diarrhea relief companies (makers of pepto and immodium) make a deal with Kraft, so that craft will increase the amount of lactose in their cheese resulting in more diarrhea, which then leads to increased demand for diarrhea relief.

There is nothing stopping these kinds of Cartels from forming, nor are they really illegal. I understand some extreme examples seem like something an activist hippie would say:

"I am telling you man, the food companies are in league with drug compainies, they're putting shit in your meat that gives you cancer, so that the drug companies can make money off the meds that you'll need"

It is still unreasonable to believe that compliment cartels dont exist at all. And probably in ways that are not benefitial to society.

For example: If i were the ceo of Whatever company it is that makes Huggies diapers(possibly this company is called Huggies), i would pay some baby food manufactures a lot of money, to put something in the food, that will make the child develop a rash, whenever he wears any other diapper but huggies (take that pampers).

And there is no reason why someone couldnt do that, except that it is totally morally wrong and you are going to go to hell without passing go or collecting 200 dollars. Oh and i doubt that there is a chemical that will do this. But then again I cant help but notice that when you buy some lined paper, only bic pens will work on it. (cue the spooky music)

The conclusion that we reach, is that sometimes natural monopolies can be dangerous too. The reason my example is possible is because diappers are only profitable to sell if you make a shit load of them, thus huggies and pampers pretty much have a natural duopoly. If there were a million diapper providers, then it would be much harder to develop a chemical, that only doesnt lead to a rash with your diapper.

(come to think of it this example sucks.)

The point being that natural monopolies when they do occur, still have some negative possible externalities that should be aknowledged.

I'm Ellijah Mann, and I'm over here now