Wednesday, July 18, 2007

No Mayor Miller....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"I was very clear yesterday about the consequences of deferral, and I meant it," Miller said. "And this is one of those consequences." -- Mayor "Moron" Miller

This is Mr. Miller looking like he is making the tough decisions in cutting all non essential spending due to a city council vote that will postpone the cities ridiculous tax hikes until after the Provential elections.

The spew on paper post (Toronto Star) is painting a picture of stardom featuring quotes like the one above. Let's be honest the mayor is acting like a bad British nanny on her period. He might as well have said, "yeah....well if you don't give me more money....I am going to cut spending" only he says this as if he is just doing his job and doing what needs to be done. Look dweeber, this wasn't thrust upon you. You knew how much cash you had, your job is to prioritize within that limit. It was you that approved spending that will see the city more than 500 million dollars in deficit. You are a flat out fucking idiot, maybe it's time to stop writing tax bills and form a good suicide note you stupid shit.

As for you Torontonians, you got exactly what you deserved. Now get your heads out of Olivia Chow's ass and vote with your brains.

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now


Honestly...I am too mad to try to be funny.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Dating: A Woman's Choice

I have never been one to date. I mean I have had all the typical phases someone my age should have had...the whorish stage, the long term stage, the horror story stage, and the lonely stage...well all but the "oh my god that hurt so much" stage.

But I never went on dates. It just wasn't my thing. Any relationship I have endeavored has been a result of some form of close proximity through social, work, travel and living situations. And I find that most men also prefer life this way. The traditional meet, go and talk to a girl you have never met, take her out, try to hit it off and see what happens approach, just doesn't seem to be so popular. And I know exactly why!

INCENTIVE: this is actually the answer to every question involving the word why. But what are the incentives the push men away from tradition?

1. Power: Who's court does the ball dwell?
The spark for this blog is the couple sitting across from me at starbucks on a very clear first date. She is incredibly comfortable talking up a storm, and to be honest he looks like he could throw up. Sure he nods and smiles over and over again, while she rambles on about how much she loves her program, but he is clearly not listening and whenever he says anything it seems to cause an end to that line of thought for some reason. It kinda looks like an interview, which makes sense cause it totally is.
Since the vast majority of first dates are initiated by the guy, immediately it has been made clear that this man is committed to dating this girl? By saying yes the girl has just granted an interview. Girls know this, and thus on the date the guy is constantly thinking "how can I impress this girl", while the girl is thinking, "do I really like this guy?"
This creates a very uncomfortable imbalance of power that leads the man to focused on getting someone else to like him, rather than focusing on if he likes her. I recently went on what might have been, maybe, my fourth first date ever. It was a random girl from work that I was connecting pretty well with before asking her out. Post asking her out almost every second was pure awkwardness, with less than zero sexual chemistry. We saw each other a few more times until eventually she blew me off. I don't blame her for this at all, nor did it really hurt anything more than my ego, which if you know me, you know my ego will recover. The question is why didn't I blow her off? Why continue to chase a mediocre relationship? I think it is because of that power imbalance that leaves men chasing, and once we start chasing we don't stop until we catch something.

Meanwhile for Women dating is geared for them, not only is it an opportunity to totally be in control, you normally also get a free meal out of it.

If I were to look for more first dates, they would be more of the same. The problem with it is that a success is based on getting someone else to like you, as opposed to finding someone you like.

In the long run dating is bad for everyone. The date in front of me will end in one of two ways:
1. Guy goes home recognizing that he did not do that well, and feels like he should text, or call her so that he can do something impressive to save his ass. Meanwhile, she is at home ripping him apart to her friends via the phone, msn, email, and facebook all at the same time.

2. It went well, guy decides he will play it cool and not call for a few days cause he doesn't want to blow it. Girl tells all her friends that this one might be 'the one'. They go out a few more times, maybe even get to the couple stage. She worships him, this empowers him, she starts getting insecure, this upsets him, she pushes too hard, he pulls out real fast.

Successful relationships (whatever that means) don't come from first dates and awkward interviews, they arise from people who already know each other and get a little obsessed with one another, and eventually get drunk and make out.

Women should still actively go on dates, it will never result in true love but it will always make you feel good about yourself and be worth it even if you have your heart broken in the end.

Men: make friends not dates!

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over here now


you are nothing more to me than a poke on facebook

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

So When is it Time to Use the "I" Word?

This will make 100 entries of mostly complete BS....yay!

So is anyone trying to impeach Mayor Miller or is Toronto just swept over by our unique laisse-faire attitude towards caring about things?

The following has occurred so far in 2007:

1. The municipal government of Toronto has officially run into deficit
2. They announce that they will be seeking additional taxation methods to pay for there gross over spending on pretty much nothing
3. Two members of the city council are investigated due to suspicion of not spending enough money
4. As a result a cheque is forced upon them for spending too much cash out of their own pocket and not enough of the tax payers money
5. Picture day has to be canceled due to an argument over who sits in the front row
6. City council votes against placing ribbons on public vehicles intended to show support for Canadian troops in Afghanistan
7. Following a minor public outcry from war vets and AM 640 radio, the city unanimously decides that they are now in favour of said rippons. Three members didn't vote, one because he came back late from lunch, and two because they did not support the motion, apparently they did not consider a nay vote to be a reasonable expression of their beliefs.
8. Mayor Miller announces several new taxes to be levied on Torontonians in an environmental initiative, these were the same taxes that were being considered as a way to make up for gross over spending, but NOW these taxes are to save the environment.
9. Did anyone notice the new look on the CN tower, it now glows, with red and white for Canada Day and rainbow colours which I imagine are to support gay pride. Correct me if I am wrong but I am pretty sure the city council paid for this. (can anyone verify this?)

So that is their story, and from what I hear in the media, people don't seem to be happy about it, but more so they don't seem to know, or care about it at all.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. Why don't you want to see your mayors head on a pike. Has he done anything worthwhile for you? Why do you vote for him? Why do you support him?

I don't think this man even has a thought of his own, he basically just tried to agree with everyone. This would explain why he approves all requests for spending, and the whole ribbon thing.
Living in Toronto, I am also very aware that Torontonians do not support the war in Afghanistan, but that doesn't mean they don't support those who are willing to give their lives fighting for Canada.

It honestly angers me a little bit.
It looks like I am going to have to pay a tax to go south of Bloor St. in order to make up the million dollars it costs to make the CN tower glow.
If you are concerned about the environment, why are you blatantly wasting energy like this anyway? Don't get me wrong, I think it looks pretty cool, but personally when I run out of cash I don't do go and spend a ton of money dying my hair funcky colours for Canada Day! (I used OSAP for that!)

The city council was just recently re-elected. They have over three years left in office. They have displayed constant irresponsibility, immaturity, and a lack of leadership and accountability in a very short time.

So we are just going wait and see if they get better, but personally the idea scares me.

I'm Adam Waldman
and I'm Over Here Now


The flags are down in Toronto today with the passing of Honest Ed Mirvish. Honest Ed was the backbone of the city for a long time. He will be remembered fondly by millions of people.
Best wishes to the Mirvish family.

Monday, April 23, 2007

The Love or Learn as a Function of Time

As always sparked by frequent rambling conversations about random nothingness, I arrived at a topic that seems to spike a nerve in most. I believe that there is a inverse relationship between knowledge and passion, and further exploration of this idea can help us better why we are the way we are. At first I thought time was a variable in the equation. As we get older and gain knowledge we lose our passion. It's a swap of ration for emotion. The initial time line looks something like this:
Stage 1: Toddler and early childhood:
After our initial arrival in this life we communicate solely with emotion. If we are hungry we cry like we just lost our best friend. If you jiggle some keys in front of our faces, we will giggle like a school girl. In fact our only expression is emotion for about a year.

Stage 2: Childhood
School is a big part of any childs life. But it is not by choice, it is the choice of those who are older than us, because they value knowledge. You go, and you try your best to succeed, but its not from a thirst for education, but for the positive feedback, and/or fear of negative consequences. When kids are given positive feedback it is in the form of compliments and stickers and other such pointless things that do nothing but give us a nice happy feeling. Negative consequences are often too logical, taking away something the child values so that they will learn not to repeat that behavior. However, if you have ever spoken to a child, they don't fear being grounded, they fear their parents yelling at them. Why? Why do children fear that which can not in any way hurt them. It is because they are completely emotionally driven.

Stage three:
As we continue to grow we begin to develop our a minute thirst for knowledge but this is not how most teenagers identify themselves. Identity is first formed in the image of emotional expression. Think about the things that teens look at when they evaluate their peers. How a person dresses, the music they listen to, what games they play, all of which are expressions of emotion. Those emotions have developed quite a bit since childhood. Puppy love begins in early teen hood and despite the name might describe the most passionate relationships that people have. It is typical for teenagers to swear their soul to a person one week, and another the next. Relationships with dramatic break-ups and make-ups are a stable in the halls of a highschool. This might be where people hit their emotional peak, our id identifies our personality more than any other time.

Stage four: Early Adulthood

In early adulthood, reason begins to trump emotion for the first time. University and College students begin to identify with their program of study. People begin to care more about their communities, become more politically inclined, and read for pleasure more. However that baser emotional reasoning is still their. This is probably why so many teens and young adults identify with the left wing. The left comes across as feeling out issues as opposed to using reason. Arguments are made based on emotional responses, to environmental issues, international issues, and community issues. A loathing for the right wing goes along with this, a distaste for beings who are viewed as heartless.

Stage after four:

As we continue to grow into people ration takes over more and more of our lives. We grow more concerned about the economy and less about the environment. Our outlook in relationships is more about finding compatibility and less about lust. We become less social and more independent. We attempt to keep calm when in all situations and look down on those that show too much emotion. We are ashamed to cry, and we never fall in love the way we use too.

The only problem with this model is that it is full of generalizations and absolutely true of no one.
So, maybe it is just a guide line or maybe it is just imperfect.

I'm Ellijah Mann
and I'm over here now


Sly comment about how you smell

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


"There was an accident and now there is a gas shortage. These things happen...we'll get through it together...this is nobody's fault..." -- Dalton McGuinty

Nobody indeed!

I'm Ellijah Mann and I'm over here now

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Boobs and Brains

Whilst eating at Hockey Sushi last night (btw worst place ever, has made me actually sick twice now, don't eat there) I really enjoyed watching the date that was going on at the table beside me. A teenage couple of a jock looking guy and a pretty much zit faced awkward girl with a giagantic rack. In my constant glances at their table I couldn't help but notice how not-subtle this guy was being at his direct concentration upon this young womans chest. In fact, he wasnt the only one, at least three or four times I noticed her checking out her own tits. Literally in the middle of conversation she would play with her shirt, put he head down and talk to her bossom for a little while. Well why not? They seem to be the centre of attention anyway, why not speak to them for a little?

The weirdest thing, is that from the looks of these guys, I totally would have thought they were having a pointless conversation comparing Beverley Hills 90210 to 24 somehow, but I was totally wrong.

Although all eyes were focused on the half revealed D cups, the speech was mostly focused on literature. They were deep in discussion about the Toronto District School Boards right to ban certain books, noteably the David Gutterson novel that was recently pulled from school liberary stacks.

But really how surprising is that, I mean are these not supposed to be immature shallow people. Are they not stupid because they oggle boobs? How shocking is this!

There are lots of lessons that could be learned here. 1. Dont judge a book by its cover 2. People who discuss literature are not necessarily genius. But most likely it 3. Everyone loves a nice set of tits!

I'm Ellijah Mann,
and I'm over her now


you are hairy, ugly, and smell really weird thus you must be a TERRORIST

Sunday, January 21, 2007

MSN + Facebook + My Space = -GDP

Note: the editing of this post has been forgone for my convience

f my memory serves me right, it was back in the mid 90's when post the release of Window's 95 and just before the nightmare that was Windows '98 that Microsoft introduced
Windows Instant Messenger, a instant messaging program designed to take email to the next level. It came complete with shared white boards and note pads, designed to make your pc your new board room. At first it was novel, then it was confusing, then it got left behind but never forgotten.

Around this time I was about fourteen years old with a habit of downloading pics of naked celebrities on my dial up internet, when i discovered ICQ, a comparable program to msn marketed to social networking as opposed to business use. ICQ despite being an instant messaging system was more like the original Facebook or friendster. You could look up old friends, talk to people you never met, and make up fake profiles to play tricks on your friends. It was this generation that developed the instant messaging psychoses, just like those before us with the phone, and then the email, life had been made less frightening, less invasive, more private and more efficient... but wait! has it? With the phone commerce saw a huge jump, people were connected in a matter of seconds as opposed to weeks, information was shared almost at the speed of light as opposed to the speed of the fat postmans walking. Email took that a step further in a lot of ways. But what has msn done. For important information it is nothing compared to email, for simple meetings its worse than the phone, and in practice it is very rarely used to assist in the production of any good or service. It does consume a whole bunch of time though.

Here's the fear: As my generation begins to invade the labour force we take the weak study habits and over all apathy attitude with us. My sister phrased it best "before the internet i used to work out for two hours a day while a full time student and working part time, now i go on facebook" This is too common. Almost everyday at work i spend my extra seconds on the internet, I go on facebook and talk on messenger, and occassionally try to sell things on ebay, but for the most part I don't do things that could make my company more efficient. Almost everyone i speak to on msn is also at work. We make jokes about how hard we are working but really it's not a joke. As we consume more of the labour force our poor work ethic will eventually show on the GDP. We are entering an age where we can be at full employment and only reach half of our potential GDP. There may be a rather large recession coming and if it were up to me I would name it after myspace.


Girl, you are like the transpose of matrix: always standing up when you should be lying down.